20 things you would find if Del did a Car Boot Sale: By Helen McWilliams
- Showaddywaddy LPs – collectors items
- Men’s wigs – lacking volume but they’ve been brushed…
- Russian Video Recorders – you can ask the Chinese kid to fit an adaptor
- Russian Camcorders – you’ll need it to go with the VCR
- Free Nelson Mandela T-shirts – well they’re retro now – you know it makes sense!
- Watch engraved Harrison – from a house clearance, we’re asking £6.2 million – Raquel’s dad priced it up…
- Cycling helmets for Sikhs (prototypes) – definitely a gap in the market for these… Raquel’s given her full support for this project
- Furniture belonging to the Town Hall – Denzil didn’t pick it up after the dinner party
- Musical Door Chimes – brilliant they are, Mike at the Nags Head wants one
- Singing dolls – they’ll teach your kid a different language, well it pays to be bi-lingual in Peckham!
- Cassandra’s birth control pills – naughty Damian – dunno where he gets it from
- Peckham Spring – it’s got a certificate ;-)
- Marble Arch at Dawn – it’s a master piece… or a mantle piece…
- Gold Chains – bought from Arnie, we’ll double our money J
- Illegal immigrant – answers to the name ‘GARY’
- Arm Chair (the one Albert urinated in) – nice and warm
- Answer phone – might be something wrong with the wiring – give it a bash
- Cases of ‘Communion’ Wine – pre-blessed white wine
- Chunky gold identity bracelet engraved ‘Rooney’ – actually reads ‘Rodney’ but it’s copper plate writing
- Tony Angelino and Waq-er-Raquel Turner sing Cwy-er-Crying – cassette single – I could have made him wich!
Del Boys boot sale would be great, there would be some broken lawnmower engines, deep sea divers watchers that aren’t waterproof, a load of executive vinyl briefcases that can’t be opened because the codes are inside, a job lot of one legged chickens along with a load of louvre Doors a clapped out fax machine and a top of the range mobile phones with superfast automatic aerials although they might make your TV go funny! a box of Musta Car Radios complete with fire extinguisher and Kylie Minogue LP, oh and 3 boxes of free nelson mandela T shirts, true bargains indeed :)
Luminous paint?
No musical cat singing ‘how much is that doggy in the window’?
No Louvre doors?!