Forging Ahead part 4
FORGING AHEAD by Jimmy Connerly (based on an idea by Rico)
…continued
Scene Two Presently Int. The Nag’s Head.
Del is first into the bar, Rodney and Trig follow. Del looks eagerly around.
Del: I don’t see him. Which one is he.
Trigger: No, he was over there, he must have gone.
Del: Bloody hell Trigger, don’t say you’ve brought me down here on some wild turkey chase!
Trigger: Sorry Del-Boy, he said he’d still be here.
Rodney: And it’s ‘Goose’ anyway!
Del: (Looking at Trigger) I thought you said his name was Brian?
Rodney gives incredulous look. Trigger is blank.
Trigger Well, whatever his name is he might have hung about.
Del: Well he ain’t here now. Still, might as well have a drink while we’re here, eh chaps?
Del rubs hands together as Mike approaches behind the bar.
Trigger: ‘ere Mike, what happened to that bloke I was talking to earlier?
Mike: Oh him, he’s just nipped to the gents. He’ll be back in a minute.
Del: There you see Rodney, I told you not to panic. He was here all the time. Two pints of lager and a Sambuca Galileo and Appletize then please Michael.
Mike gets drinks ready
Rodney: Me not to panic! Hang on a minute…
Del: Honestly Mike, you know if he found a twenty-pound note he’d worry it was a fake.
Del laughs, Mike smiles and Rodney scowls.
Mike: Talking of twenty pounds Del, I want that score I gave you last week.
Del: What score?
Rodney: Del-boy schemes nil, Mike’s vengeance one by the sound of it!
Mike: Exactly! That gas lamp for outside the pub you sold me.
Del: Oh yes, fine Victorian craftsmanship, ideal for the classic look feature.
Mike: The plastic wall-mount snapped. It fell off the wall.
Del: Plastic? Where? Let’s have a look at it.
Mike: I can’t, it fell into the wheelie bin underneath, the council must have emptied it before I had a chance to rescue the bloody thing.
Rodney: Well you’ve got to hand it to him Mike, very efficient merchandise.
Mike: And how do you work that one out?
Rodney: Well Del does sell rubbish but at least it’s got the decency to throw itself away. Saves you a job.
Mike and Rodney laugh. Trigger looks at Del.
Del: Listen, that was not rubbish! How do you know it just fell off? Might have been kids done it, skylarking about..
Mike: Normally I’d give you the benefit of the doubt, only Boycie was in earlier.
Rodney: Don’t tell me, he bought one and surprise, surprise it fell off the wall?
Mike: Right! Knocked out his next door neighbour’s cat. Sixty quid vets bill; he was in here looking for earlier, he’s not happy mate.
Toilet door opens, young bloke resumes his seat at the other end of the bar.
Mike: There’s the fella now Del.
Trigger: Hey, that’s him Del.
Del: Right, let’s get over to him. Thanks for the drinks Mike and thanks for the tip off about Boycie.
Mike: Oi, what about some payment?
Del: That’s alright, take it out of the score I owe you.
Del, Trigger and Rodney make to sit down.
Mike: Oi, don’t push it Trotter!
Del: Ok, Ok, I’ll see you alright in a minute Mike. Business first, business first.
Mike: I am putting business first Del, mine! Two-fifty.
Rodney and Trigger join the young bloke at his table. He looks about eighteen or so. In the background you can see Trigger introducing him to Rodney. Del looks over anxiously, then looks back at Mike. Reluctantly he gets out a wad of notes and gives Mike a fiver.
Mike: And the twenty.
Del: Did you keep the receipt for the lamp?
Mike: I don’t have one because you never gave me one but I do have Boycie’s phone number.
Del reluctantly unfurls another twenty from his wad.
Del: You drive a hard bargain Mike, you really do.
Mike: Yeah, I get it from the customers.
Del feigns hurt pride, shrugs and hurriedly joins the others.
