Mr X
Mr X by Jimmy Connerly (One year on from Sleepless in Peckham)
Scene Two – INT – NAG’S HEAD – LUNCHTIME
Raquel is working behind the bar, there is little custom. Damien enters and sits down at the bar.
Raquel: What are you doing here? Get out!
Damien: Go on mum, just a lager.
Raquel: Coming into a pub at your age.
Damien: I live here!
Raquel: Not in the bar you don’t. What would your father say?
Damien: “Pint or half” he said yesterday.
Raquel: Get upstairs, Go on.
Damien reluctantly walks away. Trigger enters the bar.
Trigger: Morning Raquel.
Raquel: Afternoon Trigger. Usual?
Trigger: Yes, and I’ll treat myself to a chaser. I’ve had a bit of luck with the cards.
Raquel: Schnapps?
Trigger: No, not snap, poker actually.
Raquel: No, I mean what type of short Trigger?
Trigger: Oh, I’ll have a nice malt.
Raquel: Glenmorangie?
Trigger: Yeah, ok then, one of those if you’ve got no malt. Is Del in?
Racquel: He’s down in the cellar with Rodney. Do you need him?
Raquel starts doing the drinks.
Trigger: He just sent me a text on my mobile, asked me to meet him in the cellar.
Racquel: Oh right. So why did you just ask me where he was?
Trigger: Well I wasn’t sure which one he meant.
Raquel: What other cellar would he be in?
Trigger: (Taps nose with finger) Always good to make sure. Right I’ll drink these and get down there then.
Raquel: OK, there’s no rush I don’t think. I’ll just tell him you’re here then.
Trigger: Where is the cellar exactly?
Raquel: The cellar? Downstairs Trigger!
Raquel places Trigger’s drinks on the bar, he drinks the whiskey in one and starts on the pint.
Trigger: Righto – just so I know. Tell him I’ll be down in a minute.
Raquel shakes her head and exits. A few seconds later, Denzil enters. Trigger sees him come in.
Trigger: Watcha Denzil, what are you having?
Denzil: Not here for a beer Trig. I’m here to see Del boy. He said he had some business for us.
Trigger: Me an’ all.
Denzil: Good god, that’s ominous! Where is he anyway? He said he’d meet me here.
Raquel reenters
Raquel: Del said he’ll see you in the cellar.
Trigger: Yeah, it’s downstairs Denz!
Denzil: Yeah, obviously. Let’s get down there then shall we?
Trigger: (Supping his almost finished pint) Righto Denzil, away we go.
Raquel: OK then you two, there’ll be a beer for you when you get back.
Trigger: Yeah, don’t throw it away Raquel.
Raquel: No, I meant I’d…..
Denzil: Don’t worry Raquel, I’ll explain it to him!
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