Continuing from yesterdays scene 2, we now pick up Scene 3
Simon Nash presents an Only Fools and Horses Script …
Red Red Wine Part 3 – Set just days after 1991 Miami Twice
SCENE 3
In the vestry at the church.
Vicar is preparing his gowns after a service. Knock on the door.
Vicar: Come in.
Del: Ah! Good morning your reverence. Just caught the end of the service, but very good from what I saw. Your flock can put a song across can’t they eh!
Vicar: Ah Derek! I’ve been trying to reach you since you got back from Miami.
Del: Yeah sorry about that your reverence, There’s a problem with our phone at the moment. I’ve got British Telecom round looking at it as we speak. Probably a dodgy connection or summink.
Vicar: I trust you had a relaxing holiday?
(Del flashes back to the skiboat ride, being shot in the back of the chair and face to face with a crocodile)
Del: No less relaxing than usual your reverence. Huhum… Now you’re probably wondering why I’ve come to see you aren’t you?
Vicar: Well, actually I think I have a pretty good idea. I’m sorry, but I had to send all that wine back to you Derek. You do realise that it needs to be red wine to represent the blood of Jesus don’t you?
Del: Oh yes of course I do, It was just a little misunderstanding with the old Romanian translation that’s all . But God is smiling on us both because you see I’ve managed to persuade them to change the entire order at no extra charge to yourselves. You see the problem was that they had all these cases of wine stacked up with the wrong labels on em.
Vicar: I don’t think I follow you Mr Trotter.
Del: Well it’s all really simple. You see when you receive the new batch of red wine, they will have the white wine labels on em. But don’t worry I can assure you that these ones will be red. What ‘appened was they loaded up what they thought was red, only they had white labels on. When they should’ve been the other way round, get it?
Vicar: no.
Del: Well don’t worry about it vicar because your time is precious and so is mine, so this is what I’ll do, I’ll have the red wine delivered to you next Wednesday lunchtime and we can carry on where we left off.
Vicar: Well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about this idea and I have many reservations over the whole deal now. I just don’t think it’s going to work.
Del: eh?! Of course it’s going to work! Come on vicar you can’t give up now, I mean Jesus didn’t give up when the going got tough did he eh! Remember the time when he had thousands of people all starving hungry in the middle of the desert without so much as a Tescos in sight? Not only did he manage to give em all a bit of grub but he also saw they were alright for something to drink an all! No your reverence, trust me and it’ll all be just fine.
Vicar: Well, I’m still a bit concerned about the wine itself. Is there any chance we can try it first before sending it all over the country again?.
Del: (stares at the vicar trying to think of a way out of it) Try it? …Er… of course we can vic. Tell you what, why don’t I pop round with a bottle and we can pour some out for a little pre-tasting with your own flock eh?.
Vicar: hmm, Very well Mr Trotter, I trust you’ll be taking communion with us this Sunday ?
Del: Er, Well you see rev I’d love to but I’m more of a liqueur man myself. I’m sure my brother Rodney would love to go on my behalf though.
Vicar: But, is he a Christian?
Del: Christian? Oh yeah he’s as Christian as they come. In fact they call him the Alled Jones of Peckham. No straight up. (checks his watch for a quick exit) cor look at the time there I’d better be making a move. Don’t forget next Wednesday at 1 oclock. See ya later Vicar bonjour.
(Vicar looks very nervous about the whole thing again as he stands on his own)
Thanks for the comment!
Only a few more parts to go now. Hope you like the rest of it!
Simon
This is really good so far, it has a nice flow, looking forward to the rest :)