Feeling somewhat festive and with too much spare time on my hands I have decided to pay homage to Only Fools and Horses with an idea for a one off Mockumentary as a tribute to writer John Sullivan.
The idea basically is a mockumentary looking back at Del Boys life and catching up with some of Only Fools and Horses favourite characters.
The plot would be that Del’s brother Rodney was secretly putting together a DVD as a present for Del ahead of his forthcoming wedding to Raquel or perhaps just a birthday celebration. This would involve video messages and footage of the characters as they are today.
Only Fools and Horses Mockumentry
The story would begin with Del, Rodney, Raquel and Cassandra sitting on the sofa with Rodney about to put on his DVD to show the family. Photos at last have been put up in the room of Granddad, Uncle Albert and a faded picture of Del and Rodney’s Mum Joan.
This is to allude to that John Sullivan’s vision for Only Fools and Horses is complete and we can now see more of the complete picture behind the Trotter family.
Cassandra tells how Rodney has been working on the video for weeks and has neglected her and his daughter Joan.
Del could joke “I hope it’s not like the last video you made Rodney”. Cassandra then asks Rodney what his last video was about. Much to her amusement Rodney tells her it was an artistic look at local urban multicultural London! Del says “That’s funny; I thought it was about some tart in nurses uniform getting her kit off! Cassandra jokes that Rodney has always had a thing about uniforms and dressing up!
Rodney eventually puts DVD in the machine and the family sit back to watch it.
Rodney could start by filming outside Nelson Mandela house showing you as it is now and the parked reliant robin.
Del is seen on sofa raising his eyebrows in disbelief
Rodney positions the camera on some kind of unseen prop in front of Nelson Mandela house an eventually appears before camera and tells about when the family first moved in.
Rodney could tell one of Del’s embarrassing secrets.
Del is seen on sofa yelling “You git Rodney!”
Del is still living in Nelson Mandela house with his wife Raquel while their son Damien is off at University
Rodney could interview Raquel about Del and reminisce about when they first met in Margate. Raquel still has a unseen before now poster horded away advertising her act with the great Raymondo.
Cuts to Del laughing asking telling Raquel she was crafty. He asks her “When did you film all this?”
Del says what a nice man Raymondo was once you got to know him and ponders if Raquel knew what he was up to now. Raquel says she never heard from him much after Del had punched him in Margate!
Rodney and Cassandra are living with daughter Joan in a semi detached house not too far from Del in Penge, South London.
Cassandra is in the house tidying up her daughter Joan’s stuff.
Cassandra could start recording a video message being cut short by her parents Alan and Pam arriving unannounced.
Pam notices camera and tone of her voice changes and she says to turn camera off because she isn’t wearing her best clothes.
The camera cuts to Del, Raquel, Rodney and Cassandra sitting on sofa.
Cassandra says “How embarrassing, she’s such a snob”. Del grins and jokes “She’s alright once she loosens up a bit; I should know I’ve seen her after she’s had a few down the Nags Head”. Raquel raises her eyebrows at Del.
Trigger is still working as a waste management and disposal technician; basically he’s still sweeping up the roads!
Boycie and Marlene are still living in the rural Shropshire countryside.
Boycie gives a warm yet slightly underwhelming speech about Del while Marlene tells the camera about when she first saw Del just after she had finished working in the betting shop and how he probably wouldn’t remember that. Boycie ponders this for a second before trying to wrap up Marlene’s speech because he is embarrassed.
Denzil is still working as a long distance delivery driver.
Denzil gives a great speech about Del remembering when he first moved down to London and how he’d like to catch up more but for his wife Corrine.
Rodney catches up with Mickey Pearce on the street who is working as a door to door salesman despite telling Rodney otherwise.
Sid is taking life easy after being released from prison.
Jumbo Mills is sunning himself still in Australia complaining about all the British who have moved over there! He sends a video message telling Del he’s sorry he can’t get over for party/ wedding.
Del tells everyone “Jumbo and me used to go to school the same time, about twenty past nine”. (Laughs to himself)
Cassandra says to Del “You didn’t go to school that late all the time did you Del”
Del tells her “Yes we did an all until they put that bark Slater on the late book”
Raquel tells Del not to talk about Slater and Del says that Roy Slater is wanted by the Police for numerous new scams.
Del reminisces about school and says that their gang were a right gang of rapscallions.
The camera cuts to Del, Rodney, Cassandra and Raquel watching the video and Rodney asking Del what he thought of his efforts making the video. Del tells him “I don’t think Louis Theroux’s go too much to worry about!”
Del talks about his Mum, Dad, Uncle Albert and Granddad
He recalls the chandelier incident and quips “You couldn’t write it could you!” then smiling directly at the camera
Del says that they should all have a drink. “Go and open some off Uncle Albert’s navy rum”. “No way Del” replies Rodney “That’s for special occasions”.
Del jumps up and shouts “This is a special occasion, me and Raquel are about to, well were about to, well were going to you know”
Raquel quips how lucky she is!
Del makes a speech about how some of his best times have been in this flat.
They all make a toast to Del and Raquel.
End theme tune starts to play when Del shouts “Wait, wait…”
Del then says he would also like to raises his glass for something else and raises a glass to John Sullivan followed by video messages from past characters in various Only Fools and Horses based locations raising a glass to John Sullivan.
Del then says “take it away John”
End theme tune sung by John Sullivan.
Photo at end of John Sullivan
Raise Your Glasses For Only Fools and Horses – By Duncan Ferguson