Friends in the right places

Raquel is cleaning glasses, ready for opening time. She looks around to someone off-camera and frowns.

 

Raquel.   Well?

 

The figure of Slater appears in set, also behind the bar. He smiles smugly.

 

Slater;     Yes Rachel, all spirits present and correct. Now what about the rest of the stock-take?

Raquel:   Will be done this afternoon. And don't call me Rachel.

Slater:     No need to be so defensive, just doing my job.

Raquel:   How many directors check their tenants' stock-taking?

Slater:     Nothing personal, just being careful. We don't want any recurrence of what happened with Mr Fisher. But there's the lesson in punishment. (Slater is smiling ominously) There's a lot of line that                  needs to be towed. We wouldn't want Delboy punished for any indiscretions would we...Rachel?

 

Del, Rodney and Cassandra all come in through the front door.

 

Slater:     (looking up) What an awful sight, a whole troop of Trotters!

Del:         What the hell are you doing here again Slater?

Slater:     Checking up on your stock-take. Making sure no liberties are being taken.

Del:         Well you'd know all about that wouldn't you.

Slater:     Yes, I would. Like calling me Slater. It's Mr Slater to you. Call me Slater again and I'll have you

                in front of the board.

Del:         What for calling you Slater? Don't make me laugh. Besides, I could make it a lot worse than just 'Slater', believe me.

Slater:     Oh I wouldn't have you in front of the board for that Del, it's too petty.

Del:         Precisely.

Slater:     It'll be whatever I feel like making up Del. I could even bring a civil action against you as well, just to enjoy the inconvenience it brings you.

Del:         Get out of my pub!

 

Slater smiles again and slowly gets his things together.

 

Slater:     I was going now anyway. Too many Trotters for comfort.

 

Slater makes to leave, he's standing half in, half out of the door.

 

Slater:     Oh, do be thorough with that stock-take Delboy. I'll be back bright and early to make sure it's all done. Eight o'clock.

Del:         Close the door behind you Slater.

Slater.     See you tomorrow Del.

 

Slater nods to Cassandra and Rodney.

 

Slater:     Cassandra. Rodney.

 

He turns to Raquel last of all, still smiling.

 

Slater:     Rachel.

 

Slater leaves without shutting the door, Rodney walks over and shuts it. Raquel looks from Rodney to Cassandra.

 

Raquel:   What are you two doing here anyway?

Del:         I thought you could do with a break.

Raquel:   How about one of Roy's legs? Two if you're feeling generous.

Del:         I'd be more than generous than that if I thought I could get away with it.

Raquel:   Well, now he's gone I don't mind staying. Cassandra, you can help me with the cocktail hour.

Del:         That was the plan. Come on Rodders, me and you better get down that cellar and sort all the stock out ready for when Gestapo Slater comes in tomorrow morning.

 

There's a knock at the door.

 

Del:         If that's bloody Slater come back again for more wind-ups I'll chin him.

 

Rodney opens the door, it's Mike and Sid. Sid's carrying a folder.

 

Sid:         (Smiling) Let us in then Rodney.

Rodney: Yeah, alright Sid, hold your horses. OK, come in.

 

Mike and Sid enter. Del looks up.

 

Del:         Hello you two, what's occurring?

Mike:      Have I got some good news for you Trotter!

Del:         What?

Mike:      We've found the papers.

Del:         What? The stuff on Slater?

Mike:      Yeah, Sid had it.

Del:         Eh? I thought it all ended up in the shredder?

Sid:         (Smiles) No, I had it all the time.

Del:         Oh, you're speaking to me now Sid are you?

Sid:         Yes Del, and I would have been sooner if you'd told me you'd seen Mike. He told me all

                about it.

Del:         Well, I suppose I should've said something, sorry Sid.

Mike:      Well we can forget all about that now. (Mike takes the folder from Sid). This, ladies and

gentlemen, was the documentation I was accumulating.

Del:         Oh what, right, what you collected before you were stitched up and sent away to sew mailbags?

Mike:      Yes, quite.

Rodney: So how come Sid's got 'em?

Mike:      I asked Sid to look after the pub while I was on remand. I told him then to look after the papers.

Sid:         Not long after I started running after the pub, there were several break-ins. Not just one or two, it was happening on a regular basis.

Mike:      Could only be the Black brothers.

Sid:         Yeah, they never anything nicked. Obviously they were looking for this. I used to have the folder among the paperwork behind the kegs, they must have missed it. But after the first break in I kept the folder round my brother's flat, just in case.  

Del:         Great work Sid, I knew you'd never let us down. Wasn't I saying that about Sid earlier on Rodney?

Rodney: Yeah, (raises eyebrows) something along those lines Del.

Raquel:   So what's in this mysterious folder then?

Mike:      All the companies that Slater's involved with for a start. Some false aliases and a few cases where he's greased a few palms to get in.

Del:         So do we ring the police now then or what?

Mike:      Oh no, Del, nothing to do with the police. It's still complicated, we'll need a lawyer to sort all this out, we mightn't even have a case at all. Just a load of circumstantial evidence.

Del:         I'll ring Solly Atwell.

Rodney: He's inside!

Del:         Inside?

Mike:      Yes, he was on my wing in the nick! I would have told him all about it but he looked a bit

untrustworthy

Rodney: Most probably because he is untrustworthy.

Del:         Yes, even O.J. Simpson considered Solly for his trial at one stage.

Mike:      Anyway, I told hem a few details and he suggested we'd need a lawyer. Or at least someone who knew something of Company law.

Del:         We own a company.

Raquel:   We own a lease to a company! Del we know nothing about company law.

Cas:        No, we don't. But I know a man who does.