Friends in the right places
Friends in the right places by Jimmy Connerly (Part 2 from MR X)
Scene Seven- INT - NAG'S HEAD - NEXT MORNING
Del,
Raquel and Rodney are behind the bar. Also present are Alan,
Trigger, Denzil, Cassandra, Mike and Sid.
Del:
Alright everyone, pleased you could all make it at this historic
occasion.
Door knocks.
Del:
Ah, there he is bang on queue, as predicted, quarter of an hour
early.
Del walks over to the front door, opens it, as anticipated,
it's Slater.
Del:
Yes, I thought it'd be you, come in.
Slater is ushered in, he's smiling until he sees everyone
assembled.
Del:
Here he is look everyone. Say hello to Slater the Slag.
Slater makes to say something but checks himself.
Slater: What's going
on?
Rodney: Well we were a bit worried about the pub Slater. Say
something happened to it?
Cas:
We're thinking of some insurance.
Del:
yeah, say it burned down!
Alan: You could try
Frindal Insurance. I've heard they're good.
Mike: Or what about
Commonwealth Insurers?
Trigger: How about G.G.S.U?
Sid:
No, that's no good Trig, they're expert insurers for Life
Insurance.
Del:
No, good thinking though Trig, I was thinking of Life insurance as
well.
Raquel: What about car
insurance?
Denzil: Just Car insurance.
I've heard good reports about them.
Mike: Then there's
Prestige!
Slater: You can stop your
pantomime now. I don't need a list of all the companies I own,
thank you very much.
Del:
All Insurance companies except this one. What is this place to you
anyway? A hobby?
Rodney: No, just somewhere he can lord it over those he knows
should he feel like it.
Mike: Or frame
them!
Slater; You've all made a
big mistake.
Alan: No, they
haven't Mr Slater, I think you'll find that you have.
Slater: I don't know what
you mean.
Del:
Oh, I think you do. Have you heard of the Ponzi scheme.
Slater trys to look ignorant of the scheme.
Del:
You're a terrible actor Roy, have you ever considered a part in
Eastenders?
Raquel: And he's depressing
enough.
Del: I
did a bit of research myself yesterday Slater. I couldn't be
bothered with the stock-taking.
Slater says nothing.
Del:
Did a few google searches. Found email contact address for all your
companies. I even saved them to my address book, didn't I
Rodney.
Rodney: That's right Del. And all the Home Pages are added to
your favourites aren't they.
Del:
That's right Rodney. Plus....What was the other one I did?
Rodney: Two.
Del:
Oh yes, that's right it was two, cheers bruv. The Insurance
Watchdogs and The Insurance Ombudsman.
Slater walks to the bar, smiles nervously and looks at
Del.
Slater: You did a deal
last time Del. I'm assuming you're looking for one this time.
Del:
Hand over the brewery to us and you can walk out of here.
Slater: Fifty one percent
of the brewery are you mad!
Del:
You'll make out that our consortium has bought you out. Do whatever
you have to do, pull whatever strings need pulling but you come
back here this time next week. No later! And I want it all in
writing on the table just there.
Del walks over to Slater threateningly.
Del:
Otherwise I'll be logging on!
Slater: And the other
companies?
Del:
You can do what you like with them. I don't care.
Slater: It's a
deal.
Slater looks around.
Slater: I'll need a list
of all your names.
Raquel: Well you can start with mine.
It's Raquel. R-A-Q-U-E-L.
Del pulls out a sheet of paper. Gives it to Slater
Del:
Here's a list of names and addresses. Documentation and
confirmation to arrive within the week. Do close the door on your
way out.
Slater exits and closes the door this time. Once he's gone,
all look to each other and cheer. The cheer is a
combination of excitement and relief. Rodney has his fist
clinched like he's just scored a goal, he hugs Cassandra, Del hugs
Raquel. Sid and Mike slap Alan on the back. Denzil looks a little
stunned but smiles at Trigger. Trigger looks blank.
Del:
Well done everybody! I was going to make an extra announcement but
you've all heard enough of my voice.
Raquel: Here, here!
Del:
(Smiles) Yes, thank you Raquel! No, I thought I'd leave it to our
Earthwhile host. (Indicates Mike)
Rodney: Erstwhile!
Del:
(Ignores Rodney) Mike Fisher, everyone.
Mike: Thanks Del.
Ladies and Gentlemen, friends, fellow share-holders and partners. I
know it's early but....
Del:
Go on Mike.
Mike: Everyone, the
drinks are on the house!
All cheer.
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