Only Fools and Horses Convention 1998

The Nags Head Brentwood was the venue for the first official Only Fools & Horses Appreciation Society Convention’. 950 tickets had already been sold with an expectation of more on the day. People from all over the globe was due to attend, some from far away as America, Germany, Ireland and parts of Guildford. Though a lot of studious preparation went into the event there was still a feeling of apprehension from the team. After all no-one had previous experience and although we had tried to pre-empt any problems that might occur there were bound to be difficulties during the day and we were not to be disappointed.

At 9 o’clock on the morning of 11th October 1998 things were going swimmingly. The 150ft marquee had been erected in the grounds of the Nags Head (alright car park). The food was being prepared and would be ready for the arrival of the members at twelve. The stall with the Fools merchandise, including new book and video was in the process of being set up. Three yellow Trotter vans and two green Capris (one of which was the original used in the series,) sat elegantly’ on the forecourt of the pub. Keith Bishop was setting up the PA in which he would interview our guests and generally keep people entertained. We had confirmation that John Challis (Boycie) and Ken Macdonald (Mike) had been picked up and were on their way. The bouncy castle was up and ready for the kids. The only thing not playing the game was the weather. The day was grey and bleak with a threat of showers.

Members began to filter in at about eleven. It was the people running the merchandising that noticed their arrival more than most as they converged around the stall to buy memorabilia. From that moment on the stall was constantly busy, maniacally so come mid-day. A system of making records and receipts of what was being sold had to be scrapped as more and more fans poured in. The people behind the counter were working flat out, they were in a state of near hysteria as they ran up and down the stall picking up orders for Videos, Books, T-shirts, Tapes, Model Vans etc. It was quite funny as they bumped, headbutted and kicked each other as they tried to move up and down the constricted area they had to work in. Things got so busy that one of the teams daughters, Rosaleen at ten years old, had to be conscripted into serving.

John Challis and Ken Macdonald arrived around twelve. This was evident as a huge crowd followed them around the marquee. It was like watching something from biblical times. Keith Bishops big moment wasn’t far off, if he was nervous then his impersonation of a man cool and confident was a very good one.

Keith had intended to do a stint of around three hours on stage. This was remarkable when you consider he had no form of script or agenda. He took to the Mic a little after mid-day, and introduced himself playing a dance remix of the Fools theme tune. This got the crowd in the right mood as they jigged and wiggled along to it. Keith then called for the look-a-likes to join him on stage. He showed some great spontaneity as he joked and laughed with them. Our host was now in full flow as he pulled six unsuspecting fans on stage. He then got members of the audience to shoot questions at them about Fools.

Keith had performed admirably for almost an hour. He primed the swelling crowd perfectly. It was now time for our celebrities to come on. John Challis was the first to walk on and received a tumultuous welcome that could be heard all over Brentwood. Keith mentioned on how German he looked. He responded by speaking in German, to the amusement of the crowd. Keith then asked if he would give us a rendition of that infamous laugh. “Can’t see much to laugh about” was his reply. Not one to disappoint John then gave us a burst of that unforgettable chortle. The crowd gave their approval with wild applause and laughter. Keith then asked the question, which was on everyone lips, “Do you think there will be anymore shows?” Johns’ reply was not what we wanted to hear, but frank and honest. He said that there were no plans at the moment and it would be difficult to do anyway, as it would be hard to get the entire cast together at the same time, what with other work commitments. As Keith was talking to John, Ken Macdonald emerged from the back of the stage. A huge cheer rang up from the crowd. He was visibly pleased by their reaction. Keith asked the same question regarding anymore episodes. His answer was a little more forthright than Johns. “I don’t believe there will be anymore shows ever”. He and the audience fell silent, noticing this Ken then said, “You never know, it’s up to the BBC and us to keep pestering them to commission more recordings. Keith concluded his time with our guests by getting fans to fire questions at them. Both John and Ken were only to pleased to answer their queries. As proceedings came to a natural conclusion Keith asked if there was anyone in from Sheffield, with this a girl from the audience ran on stage and wrapped her arms around John and said how much she missed him. John looked a little shocked but soon regained his poise as he said “Sheffield steel” and then laughed.

Keith called for Perry to come up on stage. Darren Sheard made a presentation to him for all his sterling work for the society. It was a photo album with pictures from the cast signed with gratitude and congratulations. Included in the album were David Jason, Buster Merryfield, John Challis, Tessa Peake-Jones, Sue Holderness, Wanda Ventham, Jim Broadbent, Gwyneth Strong, Paul Barber, Roger Lloyd Pack and Ken Macdonald. Perry was obviously moved, especially when Ken Macdonald remarked “We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you lot, and you lot wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Perry”.

Elsewhere things were not going so swimmingly. The stall was heaving and disappointingly people working behind the counter noticed some fans’ stealing merchandise. There were reasons why we didn’t apprehend these people. One was that it was so busy and it would have caused a scene. We really didn’t want that, especially with children there. Another is that these people are so sad it seems pointless to do anything anyway. We also had fans obtain merchandise with a promise of sending the money on, with some, the promise was not kept (you know who you are). I’m glad to say these problems were with only a small percentage of the attendance and we will be looking at ways to avoid this sort of situation should we have a convention in the future. The owner of the pub, Mr Rowberry, was also having his fair share of difficulties. The food had run out and a few who had bought a ticket were complaining that they hadn’t had anything to eat yet. This was a surprise as there was an ample amount made for everyone. Again this must be blamed on a small number who ate well over their quota, either that or Homer Simpson paid us a visit. Perry had to give Mr Rowberry some more funds to make some more eats. Of course, we could have picked up the all the food that was strewn all over the car park and pub grounds and we would have had plenty. Many of the headaches mentioned above could be due to the fact that the pub was also open to the general public and you know what they’re like.

John and Ken were now, along with Steve Clark, signing copies of the new book and video. They were sitting behind a small desk with over 1000 fans wanting their booked personalised. This was, as anyone who was there will tell you, not an ideal situation. An announcement over the PA had to be made asking for everyone to make a queue, as our guests were getting crushed with the over exuberance of the crowd. Fans heeded the request and made an orderly line accordingly. We would like to thank everyone for their patience and good humour, as the queue along with the wait was very long. John and Ken to their credit signed everything put before them. They took time with each fan conversing and having pictures taken. John and Ken then, looking a little tired, made there way out to the forecourt and posed for more photos alongside the Trotter Capri and Vans. They left around six o’clock. They both worked extremely hard and we are indebted to them for all their excertions. They had done everything that was asked of them and we would like to express our gratitude. We would like to say thanks to Darren Sheard who made the 600 mile round trip twice to pick up John Challis and his wife Carol.

Fans began to drift away around seven. Steve and Jo who had worked so tirelessly behind the stall, were clearing up. They looked a little bedraggled and forlorn, understandable considering they had just spent 7 hours on their feet. Perry also looked somewhat fatigued, but he still had a smile on his face. This was because the Convention had been, (with the odd hiccup), a resounding success. Evidence of this is the amount of phone calls and letters he has received from members since, remarking on what a great day it had been, and thanking him for making it possible for them to meet John and Ken. The few of us that were left filed into the Nags Head to hear the band The Driscoll Brothers. They were really very good and thought it a shame they didn’t play their set in the marquee as they were very entertaining.

Perry asked that I forward on his heartfelt appreciation to everyone who contributed their time and effort in making the day such a successful one. Though Perry can always bank on this help, as with him, to them it’s a Labour of Love.