Continuing from yesterday we pick up part 3 of Only Fools Fan Kiel Phillips presents a superb script called Broke
Only Fools fan script – Broke – Part 3
SCENE 3 – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
RODNEY IS LYING ON THE SOFA, DEL IS SITTING BESIDE GRANDAD ON THE CHAIRS IN FRONT OF THE TV. THE PROGRAMME ON THE TVS IS A COOKERY SHOW
RODNEY: Do we have to watch this
DEL: Yeah, turn it over Grandad, my stomach thinks my throats been cut and this isn’t helping
GRANDAD: Will you do it Del, i ain’t feeling too well
DEL: I told you not to eat those sausages
GRANDAD: I was hungry
DEL GETS UP AND TURNS THE TV OVER
DEL: I don’t believe it, you’ll never guess what’s on, it’s only Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner
DEL SITS BACK DOWN LOOKING COMPLETELY FED UP.
RODNEY: If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be?
DEL: Would you shut up about food
GRANDAD: I’d have a couple of Rennies
RODNEY: I’d have a chicken curry special, half chips half rice from that Chinese down by the adult learning center
DEL: Rodney if you don’t shut up about food I’m going to make you eat my fist…
DEL SITS FORWARD
DEL: Hang on a minute, that’s it
RODNEY SITS UP EXCITEDLY
RODNEY: Have you got a slate there?
DEL: No
RODNEY LIES BACK DOWN DEFLATED. DEL HEAD TO THE TABLE AND PICKS UP ONE OF THE TOYS
DEL: I’m talking about these. I don’t know why i didn’t think of this before. Tomorrow evening we go down to that Chinese, we pitch up outside it and we flog these to the customers as they go in
RODNEY: But that won’t work, the people who go into a Chinese are as English as me and you. If a Chinese person wants Chinese food they stay at home and cook it
DEL: Well bang goes that idea
GRANDAD: Well what about going to somewhere where they get their shopping
RODNEY: Have a day off Grandad, they don’t have special shops
DEL: You stupid old git
SHORT PAUSE THEN RODNEY SITS UP REMEMBERING
RODNEY: Hang on Del he’s right, there’s a Chinese shop down by that printing place, what do you call it, Parry Print
DEL: Funny name for a Chinese shop
RODNEY: No not the Chinese shop you berk
DEL: We’ll have the same problem as with the takeaway, it’ll be all English people
RODNEY: No, no, this is a specialist shop where they can go to get all the comforts of home they can’t get in Tesco. It’s always full of people.
DEL: Well that’s just the ticket Rodney. Yeah, that’s exactly what we’re going to do, tomorrow morning we’re going to pitch up outside there, by lunchtime Trotters Independent Traders will be in the money again. We’ll be eating steak tomorrow night Grandad.
GRANDAD: Lovely, with peas?
DEL: Whatever you want Grandad
GRANDAD: And a nice bottle of wine
DEL: Goes without saying
RODNEY IS NOW CAUGHT UP IN IT
RODNEY: And strawberries and cream for afters
DEL: That sounds just the ticket bruv. And i tell you what Grandad, I’m going to cook it
GRANDAD: Thanks Del Boy, you want to give me the night off?
DEL: No, i want to be able to eat it
Hey!
I am certain this is not the correct place to post this, but I can’t seem to find a contact us section anywhere on here :).
Around 7 years ago I managed to get a signed photograph of the actor “John Bardon” who is most famous from BBC soap EastEnders but who Only Fools fans would know better from The Longest Night!
Being a huge Only Fools fan, when I managed to get a sign photograph, I got him to reference Only Fools. So, on the signed photo he has written ‘The Longest Night’ then the usual ‘For Dave’ then signed his name. The Photo is the typical standard BBC Autograph cards they use for all EastEnders cast.
Being a student, it’s now time to try and sell this to fund my studies! I know John is pretty poorly at the moment so I know a Autograph of his with an Only Fools reference is pretty rare, so if anyone is interested in buying this, Please let me know! David_rg@live.co.uk
Cheers! Dave.
Not sure I agree to what you’re doing with regards to selling an autograph that this actor who is poorly, just to fund your studies.
You should want to keep a bit of rare merchandise. I’m not having a go at you, just giving my opinion.
Why don’t you donate to charity or something?
Quote:
RODNEY: Hang on Del he’s right, there’s a Chinese shop down by that printing place, what do you call it, Parry Print
Cheeky….
haha, someone noticed it!