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Takes place after As One Door Closes. My vision of an episode that should have been in there.
Finders Keepers
Plot Synopsis: As Albert falls ill. Del is struggling to keep with his business needs, there is bills to pay and Del is getting worried. Which results in Del even wanting to steal, But when Del goes ahead not even thinking. Rodney turns Del’s Mindset, and teaches him, to earn fortune, not steal it.
OPENING CREDITS.
INT – TROTTER’S FLAT – MORNING.
It is early in the morning. Albert can be seen on the armchair in the living room, groaning. Del walks in, Rodney can be seen at the table half asleep.
DEL. Morning Rodders..RODNEY.
RODNEY. Mor…ning D..d..d.el
Lazy Old Rodney
DEL. Lazy little bark. You alright Unc?
UNCLE ALBERT. No..I have a little weird feeling in me tummy.
DEL. Oh yeah..? I hope this isn’t an ACT just so you don’t have to do some cleaning!
UNCLE ALBERT. I’m being serious Son, I don’t feel good.
DEL. Alright, want me to pick you up some medication? I’m passing the doctors on the way to the market.
UNCLE ALBERT. If you wouldn’t mind Son.
DEL: Alright, OI RODNEY.
RODNEY. What?
DEL. Go and get changed you’re coming down the market with me!
RODNEY. Why do I have to come?
DEL. Rodney, encase you keep forgetting you work for me. If you don’t like it, then try and find a new job, I’m sure they’ll be loads of companys wanting someone with your qualifications (Sarcastic) but until then, you’re down the market with me.
Rodney sighs.
FADES OUT.
INT – MARKET – MORNING.
Del and Rodney can be seen getting out some phones and VCR’S and placing them on show.
RODNEY. Del these are not gonna’ sell I mean look at ’em.
DEL. What’s wrong we ’em?
RODNEY. Well A these phones look like they’ve been stepped on from 6 different people, did I say stepped on I meant stamped on.
Del gives Rodney a disgusted look as he carries on talking.
RODNEY. And B these VCR’s, I can’t even explain them. I mean come on Del do you really expect people to actually buy these?
DEL. …Yer.
RODNEY. Ooo look we have a customer…you alright Unc?
UNCLE ALBERT. Yeah I’m alright Son, feel a little better than ealier.
DEL. You still want me to pick you up something for it?
UNCLE ALBERT. No, I’ll be alright Son.
DEL. What ya’ doing down here anyway?
UNCLE ALBERT. Just thought I’d come and have a little fresh air. I’m off back to the flat..seeya boys.
RODNEY. Seeya Unc.
DEL. Think I’ve just had Deja Vu Rodney.
RODNEY. What do you mean?
DEL. Well you remember when you were chairman of the committee and Grandad was ill with his legs.
RODNEY. What you tryin’ to say Del, you’re not going to try and pull that again are ya’.
DEL. How dareee you Rodney..Of course not. I’m just worried about Albert that’s all.
RODNEY. Don’t worry Del, he’ll be fine.
DEL. These are not gonna’ sell are they?
RODNEY. Nope.
Rodney smiles at Del as he knows he was right.
FADES OUT
INT – NAGS HEAD – MORNING.
Mike can be seen at the bar. Trigger is sat at the table with Boycie, they’re both reading Newspapers. Del and Rodney can be seen walking in. They walkover to the table.
BOYCIE. Oh..you alright Del.
DEL. Couldn’t be better Boycie…Couldn’t be better. (Sarcastic) Been a right blimin’ week this has, not sold one thing.
Boycie Laughs. Del just gives him a dirty look, and so does Rodney.
RODNEY. Can you ever have a little sympathy for someone Boycie?
BOYCIE. I don’t believe in Sympathy..
TRIGGER, RODNEY AND DEL. We know!
DEL. You alright Trig.
TRIGGER. Yer I am Del..are you alright Dave?
RODNEY. Yer I guess I could say I’m alright Trig.
DEL. Do you wanna’ drink Rodney?
RODNEY. Yer I wouldn’t mind.
DEL. Do you want one Trig?
TRIGGER. No I’m alright Del. Just had one.
BOYCIE. I’ll have one Del if you’re offering.
DEL. You can get stuffed.
Boycie gives his look. Whilst Rodney smirks.
Del goes up to the Bar and talks to Mike.
MIKE. You alright Del? How’s things?
DEL. Pretty bad Mike, can’t sell anything at the market. No one seems to be buying.
MIKE. Well what ya’ selling.
DEL. Some nice looking VCR’s they usually retail at £55.00 and I’m giving them away for a score. I’m literally giving them away. I’m also selling these, In good condition phones for a fiver each!
MIKE. Tried getting some better stock Del?
DEL. What’s that supposed to mean?
MIKE. Doesn’t matter. Do you want the same as you usually have?
DEL. Yeah please Mike.
Del goes to sit back at the table.
DEL. He can be a right..well you know sometimes.
RODNEY. Who?
DEL. Mike.
RODNEY. Why what did he say?
DEL. Said I should get better stock.
RODNEY. What’s wrong with that, he’s right.
DEL. Look I paid a bundle for them I’m not gonna’ just forget about them. My motto ‘He who dares, wins.’ and I’m daring with ’em.
RODNEY. I keep telling you, you won’t sell ’em.
Del looks away in annoyance that Rodney keeps doubting them.
FADES OUT
EXT – STREET – LATE MORNING.
Del and Rodney are walking down the street and Del notices something.
DEL. I don’t know Rodders I had really high hopes for those to sell, and they have just come crashing down.
RODNEY. Just trash them and get better stock.
DEL. Wish you would stop sayin’ that Rodney..ey what’s that?
RODNEY. What?
DEL. That wallet.
Del finds an outstanding amount of money in the wallet.
RODNEY. Oh my god, there must be at least a thousand in there. We’ll have to hand it into the police, so they can return it to whoever lost it.
DEL. You’re joking bruv? Finders Keepers.
RODNEY. DEL! I know we are hard up for cash but you can’t do that.
DEL. Shut up you tart.
INT – TROTTER’S FLAT – MID-DAY.
Rodney is sat at the table disgusted and ignoring Del. Albert is sat in the armchair glued to the TV and Del is counting the money he made.
DEL. One thousand one hundred…one thousand one hundred and ten. There’s a wad here Rodney..Rodney.
RODNEY. I’m not talking to you Del.
DEL. You just did.
RODNEY. Shut up. That was cruel what you did Del.
Rodney walks off to his room.
DEL. Plonker! You’re fine with me finding this aren’t you Unc? It is their fault whoever dropped it.
UNCLE ALBERT. Yeah. During the…
Del interrupts Albert.
DEL. Would you like a Brandy Unc?
UNCLE ALBERT. Yeah, just one though. Still don’t feel that good.
DEL. You will get better soon..I don’t know what that plonker’s problem is. It is finders keepers innit.
UNCLE ALBERT. Still not that fair though Del.
DEL. What?
UNCLE ALBERT. Nothing.
Rodney comes back in the room furious.
RODNEY. I’m still annoyed at you Del.
DEL. Oh alright Rodders..over a thousand there.
RODNEY. I don’t care Del, I’m handing it into the police now.
DEL. Don’t you dare.
RODNEY. Del it is not fair on whoever lost it.
DEL. Who would walk around with over a thousand in their wallet?
RODNEY. Someone who is not thinking. It is still not fair.
DEL. Oh shut up you tart.
RODNEY. You are summit else you are Del.
Rodney sits at the table and picks up the Newspaper. Covering his face so he doesn’t have to talk to Del.
Rodney suddenly shouts.
RODNEY. Hey look.
DEL. What?
RODNEY. Listen. (Rodney reading out Newspaper) “If anyone finds a thousand pounds in a wallet, that belongs to a person named David Morris, his picture will be in the wallet. Can you hand it into the police immediately.”
Rodney opens up the wallet and the name David Morris and a picture of him is there.
RODNEY. Del. You have this blokes wallet, he doesn’t look like a very nice bloke either. I’d hand it in.
DEL. Let me see.
Del snatches the newspaper and reads the section.
DEL. Well we have it now, he lost it. That is that.
RODNEY. I don’t believe you somtimes Del.
DEL. You agree with me don’t you Unc?
UNCLE ALBERT. I ain’t getting involved Del.
DEL. What so you agreed just so you could get a brandy?
UNCLE ALBERT. Yeah.
DEL. Conning get.
UNCLE ALBERT. Ya’ grandad used to say, never steal, earn it. It feels better.
DEL.Coming from you? Didn’t you and Grandad used to fall down holes so you could get a little cash?
Uncle Albert looks away and stares back to the TV.
INT – TROTTER’S FLAT – NEXT MORNING.
Del is starting to realise he shouldn’t of taken it. Rodney walks in, oblivious to Del and walks in the kitchen. Del walks in after him.
DEL. I’m sorry Rodders, just we are so hard up for Cash and it was there, I had to take it.
RODNEY. Just hand it in Del. We can earn money we always do, just got a little wait. Something will turn up.
DEL. Something did turn up, this.
RODNEY. Yer, but it doesn’t seem right.
Del starts to agree with Rodney.
DEL. No, you’re right Rodney. I don’t know what i was thinking.
RODNEY. After I’ve had my breakfast, we are going down to the police station and handing it in. Just think we’ll now be in there “good books”.
DEL. I never thought of that.
INT – POLICE STATION – MORNING.
Del and Rodney are awaiting someone to come and talk to them. They are sat in the waiting area. Someone calls them.
POLICE MAN. You two.
DEL. Hey officer.
POLICE MAN. So where did you find this money?
DEL. Well me and my little brother we’re just walking from the Nag’s Head and it was on the floor, in a wallet.
POLICE MAN. Why did you take it?
DEL. Well at the time, I wasn’t thinking straight and I grabbed it straight away.
POLICE MAN. Well it is a good job you didn’t keep it Mr. it is trotter right?
Del nods.
DEL. Why?
POLICE MAN. Well David Morris is known for stealing money, and he stole that money the other day. It is a good job you didn’t use it or keep it, it is stolen money Mr. Trotter.
Rodney turns to Del.
RODNEY. Told you the money wasn’t worth it. It was stolen, look.
Del just turns to Rodney annoyed at how Rodney has the Told you so attitude.
It stops on Del’s face.
END CREDITS.
This is a really wicked script :D instead of del saying
“DEL. Alright, want me to pick you up some medication? I’m passing the doctors on the way to the market.”
He should of said “anti bi oics” like in one of the episodes when he’s talking to one of his friends, you could also say quacks instead of doctors
But good work :D
This is one of the best ones yet, i was reading the bit when Uncle Albert Hobbled into the Market, thinking this all sounds familiar,(thinking of homesick) but you wrote it into the script, and i also liked the ending, very clever, wont give away any spoilers but it was quite funny.
i could imagine this working as something like a 10 minute comic relief special or something, a few years ago, obviously – but i always enjoy reading these scripts.
Thankyou very much, I’m really flattered that you enjoyed it. :D