{"id":2165,"date":"2010-08-17T12:18:57","date_gmt":"2010-08-17T11:18:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=2165"},"modified":"2010-08-16T12:25:33","modified_gmt":"2010-08-16T11:25:33","slug":"only-fools-and-horses-they-think-its-all-over-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/only-fools-and-horses-they-think-its-all-over-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Fools and Horses – They think its all over – part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
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ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES<\/h1>\n

(A Script by Pete Rigby) click here for part 1<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThey think it\u2019s all Over part 2\u201d<\/h2>\n

Scene 4
\nINT. THE NAG\u2019S HEAD PUBLIC HOUSE. AFTERNOON.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Del enters the pub wearing a suit. Mike, the landlord, is stood behind the bar. A barmaid is struggling with one of the pumps behind the bar whilst watching tennis on the TV screen above Del\u2019s head. So begins a \u2018wires crossed\u2019 conversation.<\/p>\n

DEL: That\u2019s faulty, love.<\/p>\n

The Barmaid thinks Del is talking about the tennis. I.e. 40-0<\/p>\n

BARMAID: It\u2019s deuce.<\/p>\n

Del thinks the barmaid is talking about the pump. I.e. juice<\/p>\n

DEL: I\u2019ll have a Guinness and soda water then.<\/p>\n

Del sits at a table. He opens up the Racing Post and starts writing out a bet. Trigger enters the pub.<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Alright Del?<\/p>\n

DEL: Alright Trig, I didn\u2019t see you there. What are you drinking?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: I\u2019ll have a pint please Del.<\/p>\n

DEL: A pint of lager for Trigger please Mike. And one for yourself.<\/p>\n

MIKE: OK Del. Cheers. We\u2019re right out of pint glasses Trig, are you alright with 2 halves?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Best not Mike, I\u2019m driving. I don\u2019t want to be over the limit.<\/p>\n

Del and Mike stare in disbelief.<\/p>\n

MIKE: I\u2019ll bring it over.<\/p>\n

Trigger takes a seat at Del\u2019s table. Del continues writing out his bet.<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: What are you doing there Del?<\/p>\n

DEL: I\u2019m doing me tax returns. What\u2019s it look like I\u2019m bloody doing? I\u2019m writing out a bet ain\u2019t I?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Oh.<\/p>\n

Mike brings the half pint over and puts in on the table. He looks at Del studying form.<\/p>\n

MIKE: Mug\u2019s game, gambling. Do you bet Trig?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Yeh.<\/p>\n

Mike stares at Del.<\/p>\n

MIKE: I don\u2019t know why I asked.<\/p>\n

Del gives Mike a fiver. Mike returns to his position behind the bar.<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: I prefer \u2018Spot the Ball\u2019.<\/p>\n

DEL: \u2018Spot the Ball\u2019? Is that still going?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Yes. Not many people do it now. That\u2019s why the odds of winning are better than the lottery.<\/p>\n

DEL: Really Trig?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Yes. My uncle does \u2018Spot the Ball\u2019. He has found a winning formula.<\/p>\n

Del looks up; suddenly interested.<\/p>\n

DEL: Tell me more Trig.<\/p>\n

\"spot<\/a>

Trigger playing spot the ball<\/p><\/div>\n

TRIGGER: He uses a pin.<\/p>\n

DEL: A pin?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n

DEL: What, so he can precisely pinpoint where it is?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: No. He pushes the pin through the coupon until he hears a hissing sound.<\/p>\n

DEL: A hissing sound?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: Yes. And when he hears the hissing sound, he knows he\u2019s burst the ball.<\/p>\n

DEL: And has your uncle ever won?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER: No.<\/p>

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