{"id":3880,"date":"2012-03-13T13:59:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-13T13:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=3880"},"modified":"2012-03-13T21:10:07","modified_gmt":"2012-03-13T21:10:07","slug":"natural-born-wally","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/natural-born-wally\/","title":{"rendered":"Natural born wally"},"content":{"rendered":"
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NATURAL BORN WALLY – By\u00a0Robert Adamcek –\u00a0OFAH fan from Croatia<\/p>\n

Year 1988\/89?, just after Dates episode. Del and Rodney at the market, trying to sell Iranian Ali Baba Air Max 2000 shoes as recommended by Paul Gascoigne who\u00a0Del met in a bar one day and got him drunk.<\/p>\n

Del: Alright, gather around here everyone , cuz I got a real deal for you today! Here you are, ladies and gentlemen, one of the fastest rising sports shoes model in the world and some parts of Asia, I present to you, in all their glory, the brand new, Ali Baba Air Max 2000! (Opens his case, with shoes popping out from it.) Yes John, I know what you’re thinking, are they genuine leather! Well let me tell you, not only are they genuine, they’re the finest genuine faux leather you can find! And that’s not all! Oh no! They’re also reccomended by none other than Gazza himself! Straight up! Take a look for yourself darling, go on! Actually, he personally tried them on and is now thinking of buying more for the whole family! He told me so just before he fell of his chai…haaa…ju…just before he left! Now, I’m not going to ask you for 50 pounds, I’m not going to ask you for 25 pounds either! Twelve pounds-fifty, and I’ll eat fish’n chips for Christmas if I have to! You know it makes sense! That’s it, here we go…<\/p>\n

Male customer: Are you sure Gazza tried these on?<\/p>\n

Del: Ey?<\/p>\n

Lady customer: These are huge! They all are…<\/p>\n

Del: (pauses) No no, you see, these are Iranian, they have different shoe sizes than we do, don’t they? These are actually size 8 (presents a size 16 shoe at least)!<\/p>\n

Crowd laughs and starts to leave.<\/p>\n

Del: Come on you wallys, don’t you know a bargain when you see one? It’s a giveaway at twelve quid, ain’t it? I tell you what, I’ll even chuck in a free banana, Rodney, get that banana out of your mouth! (takes out a half-eaten banana out of his mouth). Here you go sir (puts the banana in one shoe as he tries to give them away to a last customer, but the person refuses it and leaves) ….ohh, what’s the point. It’s like trying to sell a pig to a muslim.<\/p>

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