{"id":3888,"date":"2012-03-16T11:44:24","date_gmt":"2012-03-16T11:44:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=3888"},"modified":"2012-03-16T11:44:24","modified_gmt":"2012-03-16T11:44:24","slug":"toothpaste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/toothpaste\/","title":{"rendered":"Toothpaste"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\r\n<\/amp-auto-ads>\n<\/div>\n

Toothpaste – Fans Script\u00a0Based around 1986\/87<\/strong><\/p>\n

Scene 1 – Trotters Living room:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

(Del enters with a box full of toothpaste tubes, Rodney is sat at the dining table eating some cornflakes, Albert is watching the Television, you get the impression it is a Sunday Morning.)<\/p>\n

Del – “Rodney, Give us a hand, will you, Make some room for these”<\/p>\n

(Rodney begins to clear some room on the dining table.)<\/p>\n

Del – “No, I’ll need more room than that Rodder’s, you see, i’ve got 20 boxes of this stuff”<\/p>\n

(Rodney Looks in the box)<\/p>\n

Rodney – “What is it?”<\/p>\n

Del – “It’s toothpaste innit, I’ve got 600 tubes of it”<\/p>\n

Rodney – “600 Tubes!, How much did they cost?”<\/p>\n

Del – “Not much Rodders”<\/p>\n

Rodney – “You mean they’re stolen?”<\/p>\n

Del – “Never mind where there from Rodney, just go and fetch the boxes will ya”<\/p>\n

Rodney – “Where are they Del?”<\/p>\n

Del – “Just outside the door there”<\/p>\n

(Rodney goes to fetch the boxes, he shouts back towards del)<\/p>\n

Rodney – “I can’t see them Del, Where are they?”<\/p>\n

Del – “They’re in the Van, Go and get them you lazy git”<\/p>\n

(Del throws the van keys towards Rodney, and shuts the door on him)<\/p>\n

\"Would

Would you buy Toothpaste from Del Boy?<\/p><\/div>\n

Scene 2 – Outside:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

(Rodney is outside, un-loading the Van, he is piling the boxes up, He decides to unscrew one of the toothpaste tubes, and has a little sniff – As he is sniffing the Toothpaste, A neighbour walks past and gives him a funny look)<\/p>\n

Neighbour – “Hello Rodney, you back on the Glue?”<\/p>\n

Rodney – No, No, This is some Toothpaste, Del bought it, i’m just helping him un-load the van”<\/p>\n

Neighbour – “Oh, i see, Here, i’ll buy some off you, How much is it?”<\/p>\n

Rodney – “erm, i’m not sure”<\/p>\n

Neighbour – “I tell you what, I’ll take a tube of it now, and If it\u2018s any good, I\u2018ll buy a box from you later, alright”<\/p>\n

Rodney – “Yeah alright\u201d<\/p>\n

Neighbour – \u201cOh, Which Flat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Rodney – \u201cErm.. The 13th floor, the Door with all the car batteries piled up outside\u201d<\/p>\n

Neighbour – \u201cOh I know where you mean, those Batteries have been their for ages\u201d<\/p>\n

Rodney – \u201cYeah, Del\u2019s waiting for someone to steal them\u201d<\/p>\n

Neighbour – “Ok then, I\u2019ll come round later, and let you know, Cheers Rodney”<\/p>\n

(The Neighbour takes the tube, and walks out of view – Rodney shuts the van, and is left figuring out how to move the 19 boxes of Toothpaste up to the flat)<\/p>\n

Scene 3 – Back in Trotters Living room:<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Albert and Del are talking about the Toothpaste)<\/p>\n

Albert – “What do you want with Toothpaste Del?”<\/p>\n

Del – “Ey”<\/p>\n

Albert – “I mean, no ones going to buy Toothpaste from you”<\/p>\n

Del – “What is that supposed to mean?”<\/p>\n

Albert – “I mean, people look after their teeth, they’re not going to buy Toothpaste from you, not with your reputation”<\/p>\n

Del – “What are you going on about now, you old div?”<\/p>\n

Albert – “Never mind, do you wanna cup of Tea”<\/p>\n

Del – “Listen Unc… This isn’t actually Toothpaste, If you put this near your teeth you’d have none left”<\/p>\n

Albert – “What is it then?”<\/p>\n

Del – “Well.. You know the Driscoll brothers?”<\/p>\n

Albert – “Yeah, i’ve heard stories about them”<\/p>

\n