{"id":5124,"date":"2013-01-28T09:14:51","date_gmt":"2013-01-28T09:14:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=5124"},"modified":"2013-01-28T09:16:52","modified_gmt":"2013-01-28T09:16:52","slug":"only-fools-horses-fans-script","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/only-fools-horses-fans-script\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Fools & Horses Fans script"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Todays Only Fools & Horses Fans script (written in honour of the late John Sullivan) by David Strutt.<\/p>\n

The scene is the Trotters flat in Mandela Buildings Peckham, as the family gather to hold an Extraordinary Business Meeting of Trotters International Trading, following the breakdown of their beloved Reliant Robin van which had to be towed into Boycie\u2019s garage for repair.
\nPresent: Del Boy (Chairman) Raquel (Company sec.) Uncle Albert (Finance) Rodney (Transport sec.)<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018 Right, in view of the recent set backs to our agreed business plan\u2019\u2026\u2026.<\/p>\n

Rodney: \u2018What plan Del?<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018To earn a crust with our burgeoning overseas facilities in the European market you silly git!<\/p>\n

Albert: \u2018 Bimey Del, We\u2019ve \u2018ad enough trouble trying to shift them wind-up mobile phones in Peckham market lately, without goin\u2019 abroard\u2019<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018That\u2019s \u2018cause we\u2019re on the cutting edge of technology. I well remember they was cynical at Clive Sinclair with the first pocket calculator. Anyway, the main business to discuss tonight is about the tragic breakdown of our iconic Reliant Robin business van.\u2019<\/p>\n

Albert: \u2018It wasn\u2019t my fault Del boy \u2013 honest! Rodney\u2019s Transport Sec. so ee should \u2018ave checked the oil level more often!\u2019<\/p>\n

Rodney: \u2018Wadya mean uncle? I always check it once every two years regardless of the mileage!\u2019<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018 Strewth, can\u2019t you do anything right you plonker!. Now our poor van is in the clutches of that smarmy, git Boycie, who I\u2019ve \u2018eard is going to write the van off for scrap metal. Anyway what about the insurance on it Albert?\u2019<\/p>\n

Albert: E\u2019rm\u2026Sorry Del boy, I\u2019ve \u2018ad a lot on me plate lately..I think it\u2019s recently run ahht\u2019<\/p>\n

Raquel: \u2018As a matter of fact Albert, it ran out six months ago!.\u2019<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018Gordon Bennett! No wonder Boycie\u2019s looking so smug lately\u2019<\/p>\n

Raquel: \u2018What\u2019s he offering for part exchange then Rodney?\u2019<\/p>\n

Rodney; \u2018As transport manager I\u2019ve had a gander at Boycie\u2019s alternatives.
\nDel: \u2018Which is\u2019?…..<\/p>\n

Rodney: \u2018I don\u2019t know if he\u2019s taking the proverbial but e\u2019es got a nice little motor bike and side- car goin\u2019cheap\u2019
\nDel: \u2018E\u2019es \u2018avin a laugh aint he!, We couldn\u2019t get our esteemed Trotters International Trading logo on the body of a sidecar!\u2026\u2026..<\/p>\n

Albert: \u2018Well, Del, I suppose we could copy the branding of some of the giants of British Industry\u2019
\nRaquel ; \u2018In what way Albert\u2019?<\/p>\n

Albert: \u2018They abbreviate their full title with letters. After all, everyone knows who BHS, M&S and RAC are, so we could do the same and continue trading\u2019 as T.I.T.,.. get it?<\/p>\n

Del: \u2018You must be jokin\u2019! what sort of business image does that give us\u2019?<\/p>\n

Raquel: \u2018Too right Del, I certainly won\u2019t be riding in a sidecar with those letters on the side!\u2019<\/p>

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