{"id":5138,"date":"2013-02-11T17:37:24","date_gmt":"2013-02-11T17:37:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=5138"},"modified":"2013-02-13T09:02:02","modified_gmt":"2013-02-13T09:02:02","slug":"all-you-need-is-bruv-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/all-you-need-is-bruv-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"New Only Fools Script"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\r\n<\/amp-auto-ads>\n<\/div>\n

Today we have a\u00a0new Only Fools Script from Tom Griffith<\/strong>.
\nIts\u00a0based on the characters from\u00a0Only Fools and Horses Originally\u00a0By John Sullivan<\/p>\n

Episode year \u2013 Summer of 1992.<\/p>\n

\u2018All You Need Is Bruv.\u2019 part 1<\/h2>\n

SCENE 1 \u2013 Sid\u2019s Caf\u00e9 \u2018The Fatty Thumb\u2019. Del Boy, Albert, Marlene, Boycie and Denzil are in attendance. Sid is also seen working in the background arguing with Del\u2019s mate Young Towser over some breakfast that was served up. We only partially hear the dispute, but the scene opens up with Sid dealing with a complaint. It\u2019s around 10:30am on a Saturday.<\/strong><\/p>\n

SID:
\n(Reacting to a customer dispute with non-interest)
\nWhat\u2019s wrong with it?<\/p>\n

TOWSER:
\nIt\u2019s too lumpy. What\u2019s this?
\n(Picks up what appears to be egg white)<\/p>\n

SID:
\n(Shouts to one of the chefs round the back)
\nBrian! Young Towser says his breakfast was too lumpy, how did it get like this?<\/p>\n

CHEF:
\nTable 4?<\/p>\n

SID:
\nYeah.<\/p>\n

CHEF:
\nI let you cook it when I had a quick toilet break!<\/p>\n

SID:
\nOh yeah. I cooked it.<\/p>\n

TOWSER:
\nToilet break? I reckon it was cooked in the toilets. Can\u2019t believe this place is still open, Sid.<\/p>\n

SID:
\nWhat do you want me to do about it?<\/p>\n

TOWSER:
\nI\u2019ll tell you one thing, I been trying to land myself a diet to lose a bit of weight for some time now. I reckon it\u2019ll be easier to pay a visit to your place as I\u2019ll know I\u2019ll throw it back up!<\/p>\n

(Dispute continues in the background as the camera pans to Del and the others.)<\/p>\n

DENZIL:
\nNah, I\u2019m not sure I\u2019ll go. Things always get out of hand when we go on these trips. Need I go any further with that one. I\u2019m not a party goer like I used to be, Del.<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nYep, I agree with Denzil. Stag do\u2019s are a young mans game Del Boy. No, I\u2019m sorry but that\u2019s the way I feel about it.<\/p>\n

MARLENE:
\nYou weren\u2019t even invited!<\/p>\n

(Concerned and embarrassed look on Boycie\u2019s face)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nAll I\u2019m saying is, I doubt that Mickey Pearce will have anyone to take would he? Thought it would be nice if some of the old boys turned up. I could do with a break.
\n(Del nods his head while looking a head in to the distance, hoping to go on the stag do)<\/p>\n

ALBERT:
\nYou wanna stay away from certain parts of Barcelona, Del.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nWhy?<\/p>\n

ALBERT:
\nWe shipped out there during the 2nd world war.<\/p>\n

(Immediate interruption of sigh\u2019s from the group)<\/p>\n

ALBERT:
\nIt\u2019s true! We were approaching the Baleanic sea, where these local fishing trawler men spotted us approaching the coast line and demanded we surrender all of our possessions including ourselves!<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nWell, they wouldn\u2019t have been all that keen on possessing you. One step on to their boat and you\u2019d have sunk it!<\/p>\n

MARLENE:
\nSo, what happened Albert?<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nWell, whatever the outcome, Albert is involved so I wouldn\u2019t anticipate a fashionable James Bond escape.<\/p>\n

(Albert gives Boycie a funny stare)<\/p>\n

\"All<\/p>\n

ALBERT:
\nWell, over there you see, certain Europeans were known for their pick-pocketing, petty crime that sort of thing. We were taken closer to their shores when I realised that I smuggled in some illegal goods that would have got me banged up.<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nPetty crime?! That happens everywhere. Even with Trotters Independent Traders. You only have to see the junk they have in their lock-up to know!<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nBoycie! That is slenderous! What sort of illegal goods, Unc?<\/p>\n

ALBERT:
\nYou mean slanderous?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nThat\u2019s what I said, yeah.<\/p>

\n