{"id":5148,"date":"2013-02-13T17:42:38","date_gmt":"2013-02-13T17:42:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=5148"},"modified":"2013-02-13T17:42:48","modified_gmt":"2013-02-13T17:42:48","slug":"all-you-need-is-bruv-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/all-you-need-is-bruv-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"All You Need Is Bruv part 3"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\r\n<\/amp-auto-ads>\n<\/div>\n

All You Need Is Bruv part 3 is based on characters from\u00a0Only Fools and Horses Originally\u00a0By John Sullivan<\/p>\n

Episode year \u2013 Summer of 1992.\u00a0(part 1 here)<\/a>\u00a0(part 2 here)<\/a><\/p>\n

\u2018All You Need Is Bruv.\u2019 part 3<\/h2>\n

SCENE 4 \u2013 THE NAGS HEAD, PECKHAM.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(We can see Del, Raquel, Cassandra, Boycie, Marlene, Mickey, Jevon, Mike and Trigger. We see Trigger talking to Mike across the bar regarding his latest purchase.)<\/p>\n

MIKE:
\nWhat is it, Trigg?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER:
\nWhat do you mean, what is it? It\u2019s one of them mobile phones.<\/p>\n

MIKE:
\nA phone? Give it \u2018ere.<\/p>\n

(Mike takes the phone off Trigg and has a play with it)<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nIt\u2019s a load of rubbish. You don\u2019t get to choose who you speak to. I\u2019ve never come across it before.<\/p>\n

MIKE:
\nTrigg..it\u2019s a CB Radio. It\u2019s not a mobile phone. Is that what you were thinking?<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nYeah.<\/p>\n

MIKE:
\nSo who do you think you\u2019ve been speaking to when using it? Chris Evans?<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nI dunno. I just assumed they knew me!<\/p>\n

(Mike walks away in disbelief)<\/p>\n

MIKE:
\nTracey, can you takeover please.<\/p>\n

(Camera pans across from the bar to where Del and the others are sitting)<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nWhat\u2019s that sound?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nEh?<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nSounds like a radio or something, very faint. Where\u2019s it coming from?<\/p>\n

Jevon:
\nIt\u2019s coming from your jacket, Del.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nOh yeah! So it is look.<\/p>\n

CASSANDRA:
\nIt\u2019s not that C.B radio is it?<\/p>\n

(Del picks up his CB Radio and listens out to see who is trying to contact him)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nHello? Who is it that is picking up my line?<\/p>\n

(We can hear a muffling sounds which cuts out)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nBloody thing. I don\u2019t know why I carry one with me, really I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nOh dear, didn\u2019t Barry take them off you in the end?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nOnly one. I think they\u2019re quite handy at times. I keep one on me for little Damey to play with.<\/p>\n

CASSANDRA:
\nWho\u2019s looking after him?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nRodders. I insisted he come out to join us but he was adamant that he wanted a bit of parental practice and to look after Damien. The boys got a heart of gold.<\/p>\n

RAQUEL:
\nWhat do you mean he was adamant? You locked him in the flat and took the keys. The poor bloke was nearly crying.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nNoo he wasn\u2019t! He was probably getting a touch of the old arachnophobia.<\/p>\n

CASSANDRA:
\nYou mean claustrophobia?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nYeah, probably that \u2018an all. It\u2019ll teach the saucy git to have some sort of personal vendetta against me by not inviting me on this stag do.<\/p>\n

MICKEY:
\nSo about my wedding, I don\u2019t want none of you lot going out of your depth and spending too much on me.<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nHa! You can say that again, Mickey. You\u2019ll be lucky to get a gift from the Salvation Army!<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nDon\u2019t worry, Mickey. I\u2019m sure your wedding guest will splash out on you. There\u2019s a sale on at pound-stretchers.<\/p>\n

DENZIL:
\nWhen is your stag do, Mickey?<\/p>\n

MICKEY:
\nWe leave on Friday at 8am. We\u2019re getting a taxi to the airport.<\/p>\n

(We hear Del\u2019s CB radio go off again)<\/p>\n

RAQUEL:
\nThat damn radio is going off again, switch it off.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nE\u2019re listen, it\u2019s Trigg look! Look at him over there, the dozy sod. He thinks he\u2019s calling the Samaritans look! I\u2019m gonna wind him right up. Shh!<\/p>\n

(We see Trigg at the bar with his ear to the speaker of the radio and Del talks in to the phone and attempts to fool Trigger)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nWell, hello there. This is John Major. Are you reading me?<\/p>\n

TRIGGER:
\nHello your royal highness. It\u2019s an honour to be speaking to you all the way in America.<\/p>\n

(Confused reaction from the others)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\n(To the others)I don\u2019t believe him. The whally thinks I\u2019m the prime minister with Royal blood situated in bloody Washington!<\/p>\n

(Del continues to wind Trigg up)<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nHello? Yes, I\u2019m still here. Speaking as your honoury Prime Minister..of the U.K..the U.S, please buy the entire pub you\u2019re currently in a round drinks! Coz they\u2019re all bloody parched!<\/p>\n

(Del and the others share a laugh while Trigg looks on in the background still stood at the bar)<\/p>\n

RAQUEL:
\nStop it, Del. The poor bloke gets confused enough as it is.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nTrigger! Come on, come over here look and grab yourself a drink.<\/p>\n

TRIGGER:
\nI was about to anyway Del, I\u2019ve got to get a round in. That was you who was on the radio phone thing just now, wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nYes, Trigg. It was me. Unless there\u2019s been huge political changes in the States and John Major has emigrated. Well come to think of it, he may as well have been.<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nWhere\u2019s Dave?<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nHe\u2019s babysitting. How you getting on with the CB radio, Trigg?<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nI like it. Especially now I know it\u2019s not a mobile phone. It\u2019s quite handy listening to other people\u2019s conversation of an evening. It gets a bit lonely at my place. It\u2019s been that way since my Nan passed on.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nAh, well, I know Trigg. E\u2019re, you don\u2019t join in with any conversations do ya?<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nWell, I had been. They didn\u2019t know who I was. I thought I was ringing my cousin who lives abroad.<\/p>\n

DENZIL:
\nTrigg, you can\u2019t speak to anybody outside a radius of about 5 miles.<\/p>\n

BOYCIE:
\nI doubt he could speak to anybody within 5 metres, Denz.<\/p>\n

TRIGG:
\nBut now I know it\u2019s not a mobile, I won\u2019t get confused and think my phone is calling any old number.<\/p>\n

DEL:
\nYeah. You see, Trigg. The beauty of the CB radio is you can ear wig peoples conversations if you\u2019re ever bored.<\/p>

\n