{"id":5196,"date":"2013-03-11T11:24:45","date_gmt":"2013-03-11T11:24:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=5196"},"modified":"2013-07-02T12:36:25","modified_gmt":"2013-07-02T11:36:25","slug":"camping-trip","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/camping-trip\/","title":{"rendered":"Camping Trip"},"content":{"rendered":"
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From the writing pen of Brandon – Only Fools and Horses – Camping Trip<\/strong>
\nDel, Rodney and Albert all go on a camping trip away for the weekend. Whilst there, they forget where they left the van and get lost.<\/p>\n

*OPENING TITLES*<\/p>\n

INT – TROTTER’S FLAT – DAY
\nDel is messing about with some gear he bought whilst Rodney is reading a newspaper at the table and Albert is asleep on the settee.<\/p>\n

DEL: Why won’t this bloody thing work?
\nRODNEY: What is it?
\nDEL: What dya’ mean, what is it? You came with me when I bought it!
\nRODNEY: Oh that, yeah, it”s not gonna’ work Del. I told you not to buy it when we were in the market.
\nDEL: Shut up Rodney.<\/p>\n

Albert can be seen rising in the background from his sleep.<\/p>\n

RODNEY: Look who’s finally awake.
\nDEL: Oh, you decided to get up did you Albert? You’ve been asleep all day on that settee you lazy old bark.
\nALBERT: Sorry Del, had a bit too much in the Nag’s Head last night.
\nDEL: Oh yeah, how was the party then?
\nALBERT: It was alright Son, old Elsie Partridge was there, she was telling me about how she’d been getting on.<\/p>\n

Del isn’t listening.<\/p>\n

RODNEY: So, instead of actually enjoying yourself Albert you sat there for hours talking to bloomin’ Elsie Partridge?
\nALBERT: Well, she was buying the drinks so I had to keep talking to her.
\nDEL: You conning git!
\nALBERT: Well I only went down with a score and we’ve had too many drinks on the slate. Mike was givin’ me the funny look when I was down there.
\nDEL: I keep telling Mike that I’ll pay him.
\nRODNEY: I’m sure you will Del.
\nDEL: Ah-ha! It’s working.<\/p>\n

Albert and Rodney give Del a funny look.<\/p>\n

ALBERT: You’re kidding?
\nDEL: Nope, look. These are going to sell like mad. This time next year Rodney we’ll be millionaires!
\nRODNEY: Make sure you actually test the rest first.
\nDEL: Well if this one works the rest are ‘bound to work Rodney.
\nRODNEY: Whatever you say Del, It’s just we’ve been conned more times than Trigger in the last month.
\nDEL: Yeah, mostly your fault. I mean the other week you came back with a box of toothbrushes. What in great heaven’s made you think they’d sell?
\nRODNEY: I sold some dint I?
\nDEL: Did ‘yah?
\nRODNEY: Yeah, to Trigger.<\/p>\n

Del shakes his head.<\/p>\n

ALBERT: What’s Trigger buying toothbrushes for?
\nRODNEY: Probably to brush his teeth Albert.
\nALBERT: Yeah but I mean you only need one don’t ‘ya?
\nDEL: Remember, this is Trigger we’re talking about Albert.
\nALBERT: Guess you’re right, Son. Want some brekky?
\nDEL: It’s the afternoon ‘Unc.
\nALBERT: Suit yourself.<\/p>\n

Albert walks in to the kitchen whilst Del and Rodney shake their heads.<\/p>\n

*FADES OUT*<\/p>\n

*FADES IN*<\/p>\n

INT – NAG’S HEAD – NIGHT
\nDel, Rodney and Albert are sat at a table in the Nag’s Head.<\/p>\n

DEL: Mike keeps givin’ me the funny look.
\nRODNEY: Probably ’cause you bought these on the slate again Del.
\nDEL: Well I can’t help it can I Rodders? We’re not exactly earning much dosh at the moment.
\nRODNEY: Which brings me to the next question of why you want us to go on this camping trip with you. Isn’t that just going to waste more money?
\nDEL: I just thought It’d be nice to get away from everything for a bit. I’ll go on my own if you want.
\nRODNEY: Fine.<\/p>\n

Del gives Rodney a funny look.<\/p>\n

DEL: Come on Rodders, it will be fun. We can take a nice stroll in the country and get away from the gas fumes of peckham. I’ve not smelt fresh air for years. Nor has Albert, look at him.
\nALBERT: You better watch it son!<\/p>\n

Del starts laughing.<\/p>\n

DEL: So what you say ey?
\nRODNEY: Fine.
\nDEL: Haha you know it makes sense, I’ll go and get some more drinks to celebrate.
\nDEL (To Mike): MIKE! The same again please pal, on the slate!<\/p>\n

Rodney and Albert look at eachother and shake their heads.<\/p>\n

*FADES OUT*<\/p>\n

*FADES IN*<\/p>\n

INT – TROTTER’S FLAT – MORNING
\nDel can be seen strutting around the room, whilst Rodney and Albert are half asleep at the table.<\/p>\n

DEL (Singing): Off camping we go, off camping we go! We’re going camping, off camping we go!
\nRODNEY: Did you really have to wake us up at six am Del?
\nDEL: Rise and shine Rodders, it’s time to witness the countryside.
\nALBERT: I was out in the war for years, worse than the Countryside son, I’ve witnessed enough in my day.
\nDEL: You’ve not witnessed these Countryside’s Albert, the very best around and we’re going to ’em.
\nRODNEY: Where bout’s are they then Del?
\nDEL: Not too sure Rodders, we’ll find it though.
\nRODNEY: So you don’t even know where we’re going too? Terrific.
\nDEL: Stop whinging Rodney, ya’ know it’s a wonder I bring you with me sometimes.
\nRODNEY: I didn’t even wanna’ go, you made me!
\nDEL: Shut up and come on. We want to get there early.
\nRODNEY: Why?
\nDEL: So we can get there first.
\nRODNEY: You really think people are going to be there at this time Del?
\nDEL: Come on you two chop chop!<\/p>\n

Del, Rodney and Albert leave the flat.<\/p>\n

*FADES OUT*<\/p>\n

*FADES IN*<\/p>\n

INT – TROTTER’S VAN – MORNING
\nRodney is uncomfortable in the back of the Van whilst Albert is fast asleep in the chair next to Del who is driving.<\/p>\n

RODNEY: How long is it going to take now Del?
\nDEL: I don’t know Rodders, what are you moaning about now?
\nRODNEY: Well, how come I have to sit in this uncomfortable dirty space in the back of the van whilst Albert gets to sit there?
\nDEL: He’s older than you bruv!
\nRODNEY: So, can’t I just stick him here and take his seat?
\nDEL: Oh just shut up Rodders, we’ll be there soon.
\nRODNEY: How soon?
\nDEL: I don’t know, a couple of hours maybe.<\/p>

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