{"id":6613,"date":"2017-03-14T16:45:59","date_gmt":"2017-03-14T16:45:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/?p=6613"},"modified":"2017-03-15T17:27:07","modified_gmt":"2017-03-15T17:27:07","slug":"bells-peckham-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ofah.net\/blog\/bells-peckham-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Bells of Peckham part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The Bells of Peckham
\nby Gary Stocker & Paul Stocker<\/p>\n

…Continued from yesterdays script the\u00a0The Bells of Peckham part 1<\/a><\/p>\n

scenes 5\u00a0to\u00a09<\/p>\n

ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES<\/p>\n

EXT. TROTTER BALCONY – DAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Del appears on the balcony. Hurt, but holding it in. He pulls out a big cuban cigar, lights it and puffs out a lot of smoke just as Rodney appears.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

(coughing)<\/p>\n

Oi. What did you come out here for?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Get a bit of fresh air, Rodney, Fresh air. I can’t do nothing right, no more, can I, bruv? If it ain’t Damien having a pop at me, It’s Raquel. Gawd knows what’s up with her lately?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah she’s been a bit lively, ain’t she?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

If only I knew the reason, Rodney.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

I think I know, Del.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

What’s up with her.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

I know that, dipstick. Tell ME then.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Oh. Yeah. Well, you know she’s now become a Grandmother and you and her aren’t… you know.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

You know…<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

What is this? Give us a bloody clue or something?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Married! Come on, Del. You’ve been together nearly thirty years.<\/p>\n

Resignation finally sinks on Del’s face.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Yeah. I know that. Raquel wants to get married but… It’s just…\u00a0 Look what happened with you and Cassandra, hey?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

(defensive)<\/p>\n

Why? What happened with me and Cassandra?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

A year after you were married, she gave you the sack.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

She did not give me the sack. In fact, Derek, for your information, I left her.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Well imagine if that happened to me and Raquel…\u00a0 She’d be entitled to half of what I got.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Is that it? That’s why you’ve never married. You think she’d be after your money… actually, you ain’t got any money.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Yeah I know that. Only my retirement fund.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

That was what Albert left you.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

At least I’ve still got most of mine. Whatever made you buy that flippin’ great house.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

It was an Investment.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Yeah an investment that means you’ve got to keep working for Trotters independent traders for the next twenty years.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

I’m the MD. Damien’s in charge of sales.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Bloody good job he is. You’re no good at it.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Oh and when are you going to get rid of that bloody van. It’s had a longer life than Kirk Douglas.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

It still goes.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Just? Look, So you’re worried about Raquel having half of what you’ve got? How are you going to split the van, then? It’s got three wheels!<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Alright. I get you, Rodney. You know I’m just trying to look after myself. Mind, I’ve looked after everyone else all me life, haven’t I?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah. You sure have. In your own inimitable way. Look. I’m not on your case. I just mean you ought to think about it.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Good boy, Rodders. Mum would have been proud of you. I’ll think about it. Yeah?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah. You know it makes sense.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Oi.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Joan<\/p>\n

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pleasant, sunny day. Del and Rodney walking on a path between graves.<\/p>\n

CLOSE SHOT of a bunch of flowers being placed carefully by Del on the bottom of Joan Trotters monument. Need to be tight in on this first shot. Hands only.<\/p>\n

RODNEY (OOV)<\/p>\n

You can tell you’re retired, Del. You must spend most of your time down here.<\/p>\n

MID SHOT – Del and Rodney looking at Mum’s monument. Rodney is smirking.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

What makes you say that, Rodney?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

I mean, look at it. It looks like Elton John’s opened up a flower shop.<\/p>\n

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF MUMS MONUMENT.<\/p>\n

Sure enough, the monument is completely covered with lovely, but over the top flowers.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

I can’t deny that I’ve turned these fingers green, Rodders.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah counting money all your life.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

That’s not true. Anyway, you were supposed to be the financial adviser. Look at you. Buy a house you can’t afford and now you’ll be working until your ready for this place.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

I know. And don’t you think that scares the hell out of me! Joan’s looking to go to University next year. How am I going to pay for that?Cassie’s gone for Branch manager again. She’s now the queen entertainer. Then there’s me, Walking through the door after a day in the market, modelling whatever crap Damien has bought. You know, the other day, he had me modelling those Jeans that don’t cover your arse. I daren’t turn round.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

You should have put your best boxers on, then.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

No. To add to that, Damien also had me modelling these Pants that had less material than what Ghandi wore. It was like I was wearing cheesewire. I got a cold.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Perhaps he needs to get a younger model?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah. (sinks in) Oi. You can’t replace me. I’m the M.D.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Well, you’re not really are you, Rodney.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

See, nothings changed, Del. I just haven’t got the heart anymore…<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Oi! Don’t you talk like that. Not in mums presence. You’re better than that. Don’t give up, Rodders.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

It’s alright for you. You’ve always had that fire in your belly. Granted, sometimes it was a dodgy madras, but you knew what you wanted. This has all been just a day dream. Everything I’ve ever wanted to do has failed.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Tell me what you want to do about it then?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Painting. I want to paint.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

I’ve seen your decorating skills. They’re up there with Grandad’s<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

No. Not that kind of… Bloody hell. Oil Painting. I see myself as potentially being one of the greats.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Oh. I see. Yes. Like that Van Cough.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Well, Maybe like Van Gough.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

You do realise that most of these artists didn’t sell anything when they were alive?<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

There are artists alive that sell. There’s Damien Hirst and Banksy.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Banksy? Sounds like a Labourer’s tea boy.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

That’s the trouble talking to you, Del. Trying to get a level playing field on an intellectual level.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Thank you, Rodney.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Dear God.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

By the way, Rodders. I’ve been giving your chat the other day a bit of fought.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Yeah? What was that?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

About me and Raquel. Getting hitched.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Oh that. Really?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

Yeah. I think you’re right. We’ve spoken about it over the years but never done anything about it.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

You mean YOU’VE never done anything about it.<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

I’m going to propose.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>\n

Good. Good. You will do it romantically though, won’t you?<\/p>\n

DEL<\/p>\n

I’m the king of romance, me. That Huge Grant ain’t got nuffink on me.<\/p>\n

RODNEY<\/p>

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