Forging Ahead part 3
FORGING AHEAD by Jimmy Connerly (based on an idea by Rico)
scene 1 continued
Grandad: Here, Del, we’ll be alright for money won’t we?
Del: Alright? Of course we will you soppy old div.
Grandad: Well, your deals aren’t doing all that well at the moment, you haven’t given me any housekeeping for three weeks.
Del: Oh, I see! You asking me if we’re going ok was a subtle way for you to ask me for money is it, you crafty Goat!
Grandad: Now you know you always give me the housekeeping money without fail, it’s not like you. I’ve had to buy today’s dinner out of me pension.
Del: For goodness sake Grandad, you should have mentioned it earlier, things aren’t that bad.
Del pulls a huge wad of notes from his pocket.
Grandad: What’s that lot?
Del: Most of this is spoken for Grandad but we’re not doing that bad, I’ll not see you short.
Del hands Grandad about fifty pounds.
Del: Here you are Grandad, you take that for now, if you need any more let me know.
Grandad: Oh, cheers Del.
Del: Using your pension money, honestly! What did you get us for dinner anyway?
Grandad: It’s a surprise.
Del: (Smiles) Oh! Cheers Grandad, I’ll look forward to that.
Rodney reenters, Trigger is with him.
Del: Watcha Trig, what brings you round?
Rodney: A son of an old mate of yours, been looking for you in The Nag’s Head.
Del: Blimey Trig, you did that without moving your lips.
Trigger: No, that was Dave who said that Del.
Rodney: Don’t worry about it Trig, it’s just Del’s idea of a joke.
Del: (Laughing to himself while still counting out the rest of the wad) Son of an old mate of mine? Who?
Rodney heads for the kitchen, shaking his head.
Trigger: Said his name was Brian.
Del: (Thinking) Brian? I don’t recall knowing any Brian.
Trigger: Yeah but Brian said you knew his dad.
Del: Bloody hell Trig, I didn’t mean the kid, I meant what was his old man’s name?
Trigger: Oh, I see what you mean.
There’s a pause while Del waits for Trig. Trig just stands there.
Del: So what was it?
Trigger: You mean what was Brian’s dad’s name?
Del: Gor blimey! Yes Trig! What was his old man’s name?
Trigger: Oh, I don’t know.
Del: (Astounded) What do you mean you don’t know?
Trigger: Well I didn’t ask him.
Del: You didn’t think to ask him?
Trigger: Well, I wanted to let you know first.
Del shakes his head in resigned disbelief as Rodney reenters.
Del: It wouldn’t have taken you a second to have asked him who his Dad was Trig! Anyway; why didn’t you just phone us from the pub?
Trigger: No, I thought of that but I didn’t have any change.
Rodney: Couldn’t Mike have got you some?
Trigger: Oh yeah, that would have been a good idea Dave.
Del: Stone me, bloody hell the pair of them (points to Rodney and Trigger as he looks at Grandad) It’s Tom O’Connor’s Wednesday Night Out – I’ll name these plonkers in one!
Grandad laughs, Rodney scowls. Trigger shows no response.
Trigger: So are you coming then? He said he’d wait.
Del: Eh?? Who?
Trigger: Brian!
Del: Oh him! No, he can carry on waiting. I’m not going out to meet some son of some bloke I may or may not even have known. Besides, I’ve got Grandad’s dinner to look forward to.
Rodney: What, Spam?
Del: No, Grandad’s surprise he bought us out of his pension.
Rodney: Yeah, my guess is that that would be the tin of Spam on the sideboard out there in the kitchen. I’ve just seen it.
Del: Tinned Spam! Grandad, you shouldn’t have!!
Grandad: How many slices would you like Del?
Del: No Grandad, I meant you really shouldn’t have! Come on Trigger, we’ll take your car. Rodney, you too, get your coat on, were going down The Nag’s Head!
Grandad: What’ll I do with the Spam? Shall I save it?
Del: No!
Rodney and Trig have already exited. Del is half in / half out the door. He looks back.
Del: (Looking back) Actually yeah, save it Grandad. There’s a few loose tiles on the bathroom wall, I’ll use that for grouting!
