Name: Roy ‘Bulldog’ Slater.
Profession: Undertaker / Ex Chief Inspector of Metropolitan Police Service.
Spouse: Rachel ‘Raquel’ Slater nee Turner (Divorced).
Roy Slater was born in Peckham, South East London to a working class mother and father. At a young age, Roy showed ambition and enthusiasm which were catalysts for his eventual career in the Police.
When he attended Dockside Secondary Modern School, he became an outsider. One of his classmates, Derek ‘Del-Boy’ Trotter was someone Roy took a liking to, despite Del putting frogspawn in his milk. Derek had a gang of friends: Aubrey Boyce aka Boycie, Denzil, Trigger, Jumbo Mills, Fatty Walker and Monkey Harris.
Roy tried to befriend them all but unfortunately, he was seen as a runt and was continuously berated by his classmates. One particular instance documented was when the boys headed over to the ponds to play pirates. Del-Boy was Dan Tempest, Trigger was Long John Silver. Roy wanted desperately to be Bluebeard, but Derek and the other boys didn’t want him too. Instead they made him the villain, who had to walk the plank. He was in and out of that pond ‘more times than a duck’s head.’ However, at one time, Roy was permitted to be Bluebeard, but unfortunately that was the day Bluebeard had to walk the plank.
Roy found a way to get back at the boys though, especially Del, who he caught behind the bike shed kissing his sister, before he told the teacher. They didn’t want a ‘grass’ in their group so decided to bully him.
From that point forward, he pursued his career path, and joined the Metropolitan Police Service. He quickly worked his way up the ladder until he reached Inspector rank and moved all over the London boroughs and districts, policing the city.
He decided to return to his old home in December 83’ to see how he could reduce crime in Peckham. His first big assignment was locating a microwave oven, which had been stolen from the back of a lorry down Lewisham Grove. After interrogating Trigger in the Nag’s Head Public House, Roy cleverly worked his way in with Del’s younger brother, Rodney and managed to get himself an invite back to their residence at Nelson Mandela House on the Near Area Estate.
Upon arrival, Del dropped his lunch tray and assisted Rodney in grabbing some beers, whilst Del’s Grandad assisted Roy in grabbing the stolen microwave oven out of the bedrooms. The Trotters were promptly arrested and taken to the station for questioning.
Roy tried to convince Del that revealing the thief to him would stop him from being prosecuted; he even had his PC, Terry Hoskins try to make him see sense. Eventually, Del, Rodney and Grandad gave their accounts of the man they saw in market; he was described as being a ‘6ft, 7 inched dwarf, aged between 15 and 50, white male with oriental features, whose as black as new gate’s knocker.’ Slater was not convinced.
Using his detective skills, he shut all the doors open to Del so that he had no choice but to become a ‘grass’. Del considered his options and decided to co-operate, but made sure he had an immunity from prosecution, and that Rodney and Grandad had no charges against them. Slater was delighted to have Del as one of his ‘Merry Men.’ He had finally broken down the man he had always wanted to; the man everyone could trust. The great Del-Boy Trotter.
Unfortunately for Roy, he was left red faced. After asking Del ‘Who nicked the microwave off the back of the lorry?’ Del subsequently responded, with a huge smirk on his face ‘I did!’, before walking out of the police station as a free man. 1-0 to Del-Boy.
After this unsuccessful episode with Del, Roy continued his work in the police and worked his way up to Chief Inspector. It wasn’t long until he crossed paths with Del in 1985. Roy knew that Del would have a good knowledge of the gossip on the street and needed some assistance tracking down a courier, who had been smuggling diamonds into the UK from Amsterdam for a man named ‘Hendriks.’ Roy informed Del that if he helped him he could make his life so much easier in the future. Little did he know that Del and his family were the couriers he was looking for.
Roy put all airports on alert and sat for eighteen hours at Gatwick, waiting for the courier to return from Amsterdam. Eventually, Roy deducted that Del-Boy was the courier and burst in on his hand over meeting with Del’s partners, Boycie and Abdul. Del had cleverly sailed with his uncle and brother from Hull to Amsterdam and then back again.
It was then revealed that Roy was in cohort with ‘Hendriks’ or Hendrik Van Cleef and between them, they were letting others take the risk couriering the goods, who Roy then arrested, took their diamonds and sold them for profit. Del knew he had no choice but to let the diamonds go. Roy was smug; so much so he did not see that PC Hoskins’ had set him up to be arrested. Del also took two of the diamonds from the 30 Slater thought he had and made a cool £10,000 from them. 2-0 to Del.
From 1985 – 1991, Roy spent time in Parkhurst for his crime. Roy felt he had been reformed in prison; he had found Jesus after his father died. After his parole, he went to work for an undertaker in Colchester. This prompted him to organise a class reunion for the leavers of Dockside Secondary Modern – Class of 62’. He chose to invite Del, Boycie, Trigger and Denzil. Rodney came along too.
At first, his old classmates were apprehensive and shocked to see him. They thought Jeremy Beadle was on his way! After Roy explained he was rehabilitated, the guys warmed to him and opted to forgive and forget the past.
Roy was invited back to Del’s flat for a reunion after party, where he noticed a photo of his ex-wife, Rachel. After a long conversation back and forth with Del and Rodney, and their Uncle Albert asking ‘Who’s Rachel?’ Roy discovered that Rachel was now Raquel, and co-habiting with Del in the flat. He even came face to face with her and found out she was pregnant with Del’s baby.
Roy quickly realised that if anyone in the parish found out that Raquel was his ex-wife, Del would never be able to face them again. He knew that Del and police did not mix and people would talk about Del having his reject. So Roy reverted back to his old self and decided to abuse the power he had. It made him feel like a copper again.
After Del had bought him countless bottles of champagne, Roy decided it was time to up the ante and informed Del he was going to buy a house in the area and hire a car, all at Del’s expense. But once again, his old school friend had the upper hand. Del had taken a photocopy of a letter from a Bond Street Diamond Merchant that Roy had deposited his stolen diamonds with back in 1985. With this evidence, Roy knew Del could have him re-trialled for the diamond smuggling offence and put back in Parkhurst. Instead of challenging Del-Boy, he chose to make a deal with him – he would leave the parish and never, ever come back in exchange for Del never showing anyone the letter. Little did he know, the fax machine Del had could not take photocopies; the function on the machine was broken!
He walked out of the Nag’s Head that day in 1991 and has not been seen in England since. Sources say he still has connections in Amsterdam but the last sighting of him was in Torremolinos wearing a Sombrero.
If you see Roy anywhere, please call the Metropolitan Police Service immediately and quote the unique reference: #diamondgeezer.
By Dan Millen
Writer and a fan of Only Fools and Horses since he was old enough to understand the words, ‘Cushty’ ‘Pukka’ and ‘Plonker’.
I’ve always wondered why they wanted Jim Broadbent to play DelBoy as John Sullivan always made it clear he wanted there to be obvious physical differences between Del and Rodney to cast doubt over the parentage.
Jim Broadbent, however, is just as tall as Nicholas Lyndhurst who was already cast as Rodney when he was approached.
I’m sure he would have been a success as Del as he is an outstanding actor and the scripts would still have been genius, but he always says his self his greatest contribution to British comedy was turning the part of DelBoy down.
You left out Slater’s participation in the 1960 Jolly Boys Outing.