Fans Script: ROCK AND CHIPS -North by North London-
By Martin Fryer
Based on characters created by John Sullivan
INT.DAY. THE NAGS HEAD.
Del, Boycie, Trigger & Denzil sit at a table.
DENZIL. How did you two get on with them two birds last night.
DEL. Oh what, we knocked ‘em bandy didn’t we Boyce.
BOYCIE. Err yeah.
DENZIL. Did you get anywhere then?
DEL. Did we get anywhere? Come on this is me your talking to.
TRIGGER. I met a girl last night
DEL. Yeah, where?
TRIGGER. At the Laccarno.
BOYCIE. Your sister works there don’t she, Trig?
TRIGGER. Yeah, it was her that I met, my mum asked me to walk her home.
They react.
DENZIL. Whats the Laccarno?
DEL. It’s a dance hall just down the road, ere we’ll have to take you there Denz, get plenty of dolly birds in there, you’ll be well away cos I reckon most of ‘em won’t have ever had a bla..bl..bloke of your build before.
BOYCIE. You get a lot of riff-raff in that place though, if it’s birds your after meeting Denzil you wanna get yourself down the Starlight Rooms.
DEL. The where?
BOYCIE. The starlight rooms, it’s only been open a few week’s, it’s where the Top Twenty used to be.
DEL. Ere I used to like the top twenty, now that was a nice Dance hall, plenty of birds as well.
BOYCIE. Leave off Delboy you never got in the Top Twenty.
DEL. I bloody did, it used to have that young bird on the door, what was her name?
BOYCIE. Corrine, her dad bought a bike off my old man recently.
DEL. That’s it, Corrine, ere you’d like her Denzil ‘cos she’s bla….I mean because she’s bl….bl….bloody nice, yeah she’s bloody nice, lovely girl.
TRIGGER. And she’s black.
They all react.
As they continue an inaudible conversation Joan, Reg and Grandad enter.
REG. Pint of mild for me, rum and black for him and a vodka and Orange for her.
JOAN. Ere where’s Rodney.
REG. I left him outside.
JOAN. You did what, bloody hell Reg.
She goes out and comes back in with Rodney in his pram.
JOAN. Oh look there’s Delboy, send him over a pint reg.
REG. (to barman) Give the boy a half.
The barman pours the drinks as Joan goes over and talks to Del and the boys.
The two men from the black car enter the pub.
The older man motions to the younger man to take a seat, which he does.
The older man approaches the bar where Reg is standing.
OLDER MAN.(quietly) Meet me in the Khazi in 1 minute, don’t ask any questions or he’ll get nasty.
He motions over the the younger man who holds a knife under the table.
The old man enters the toilet.
REG. You get a table Joan, I’m going to the bog, I won’t be a minute.
INT. DAY. THE NAGS HEAD TOILET
Reg enters and the older man is washing his hands, he walks up to Reg and wipes them on his jacket.
OLDER MAN. Do you know who I am?
REG. No, should I?
OLDER MAN. Depends don’t it.
REG. Your not Susan’s old man are ya, cos listen, nothings going on, I mean……
OLDER MAN. (interrupting) I’m not Susan’s old man.
The younger man enters.
YOUNGER MAN. Do you want me to do him here?
Reg reacts.
OLDER MAN. Not yet, we’ve still got the introductions to get out of the way, now you go sit back down, I’ll call you when we’re ready.
Del enters as the younger man leaves and sees there seems to be some sort of stand off.
DEL. Dad. What’s going on?
REG. Nothing son go sit with your friends.
DEL. (to the older man) Is he threatening you?
OLDER MAN. Wha….?
DEL. He has a drink and he thinks he’s John Wayne, come on old mate you come out here and sit down.
Del gives Reg a disapproving look as he ushers the man out of the toilets.
INT. DAY. THE NAGS HEAD
Del, with his arm round the man, enters.
DEL. He’s a bit of plonker my old man, but he’s harmless enough, if he gives you anymore trouble, you let me know, and you (to the younger man) keep an eye on ya dad.
Younger man nods.
OLDER MAN. Did you say that was your old man?
DEL. Yeah, why?
OLDER MAN. No reason.
Reg exits the toilet in a bit of a panic.
REG. Grandad, Joan, come on we’re leaving.
GRANDAD. But we’ve only just sat down.
REG. Yeah I know but I’ve just remembered I’m expecting a really important phone call.
JOAN. We ain’t connected to the phone.
REG. Well that’s what the phone calls about innit
(to Del) Del. Home, Now.
Del say’s his goodbyes to his mates and leaves with the family.
OLDER MAN. I think we’ve got the wrong man.
YOUNGER MAN. Why?
OLDER MAN. Because Freddy Robdal hasn’t got a son……….not one of that age at least.
YOUNGER MAN. So that’s it then is it?
OLDER MAN. Haven’t I taught you anything about me? Do you really think I’m going to just give up? No I wanna make sure it’s the wrong bloke for sure first, and even if it is I still might get you to give him a good hiding for wasting my time.
YOUNGER MAN. What are you gonna do.
OLDER MAN. I’m going to make some more enquiries, starting with him.
The older man gets up and approaches the bar.
OLDER MAN. Barman, a word please.
INT. DAY. THE TROTTERS FLAT.
Joan, Del and Grandad sit in the chairs as Reg opens a glass of beer and swigs it back.
REG. Del, kitchen.
Reg goes into the kitchen and Del follows.
REG.That bloke in the toilet
DEL. What about him?
REG. You ever seen him before?
DEL. No never laid eyes on him, why?
REG. So you’ve never sold him anything?
DEL. No course not, what’s this all about?
REG. Don’t say nothing to your mother but he threatened me, at least I think he threatened me.
DEL. What, that old git?
REG. Yeah, are you sure you haven’t flogged him anything?
DEL. Honest Dad, I’ve never seen him before, you should have told me he was threatening you.
REG. Yeah he won’t have stood a chance against both of us.
DEL. No I meant I’d like to have watched him give you a good hiding.
Reg goes to clout Del but he ducks out of the room.
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No Worries Martin
I’ve changed the line in the script to Freddy Robdal hasn’t got a son……….not one of that age at least
Can I just say (as the author) that the older man’s line “Freddy Robdal hasn’t got a son” should actually be “Freddy Robdal hasn’t got a son……….not one of that age at least”
Loving the tension!! It’s getting very interesting.