Only Fools and Horses Cuts – Final Part 11

Only Fools and Horses Cuts – Part 11

Over the last few months we have seen a breakdown of all the lost scenes of only fools and Horses from the current released  DVD in the UK.

Most fans would love to see the originals put back into the DVD releases.

Additionally John Sullivan’s commentary along with production comments must be a great way to provide some extras on a re-release of this wonderful comedy.

We now continue from last week in out final part

A Royal Flush (continued)

So far we have seen a lot of cuts from A Royal Flush Episode. Our last part will look at all the cuts from the rest of the episode making 18 minutes in total!

The next scene occurs in the clothing shop. The first cut in this scene occurs when the shop keeper is on the phone to sir Alan. Strangely “No, No” has been cut from the phone call. Uncle Albert’s line has also been cut:

Uncle Albert: “Don’t you worry Rodney, By the time he’s finished with you, you’ll look just like one of them!”

Rodney: “That’s what I’m frightened off.”

….

In the next scene, we see the shooting party, But lines have also been cut from this sequence. After the line “I was rather pleased with that myself Patterson.” The following has been cut:

Charles: “Pure luck, Henry, Pure luck!”

Henry: “Ah, thank you, Charles. I thought you’d clear up the mystery. Go on. Let’s see if you can do better.”

Charles: “Now, stand back, old boy, and watch a real marksman!, PULL!”

Rodney: “Good shot sir.”

Further into the scene small shots are cut showing Rodney moving strangely.

Further cuts occur in the tent scene after the line “No need, no need, sir. I have my own weapon.” This results in the following lines being lost:

Del: “Albert, Would you mind?”

Uncle Albert: “Albert, would you mind. He couldn’t care bloody less whether I minded or not! Fight for your country, go down in shark-infested seas and what thanks do you get? I tell you, no thanks, even from your own relatives. They turn you into a gun wallah! here you are, and don’t ask for nothing else.”

Del: “Thank you my good man. you may retire.”

Uncle Albert: “I thought I’d done that bloody ages ago!”

Del: “He’s been with us for years. It’s a bit like the income tax.

After the shooting scene and Del’s explanation of where he got the gun a few cuts occur. In the original, Del says Iggie Iggins name twice, on the DVD he only says it once. At the end of this scene, the following is cut:

Del: “Right. Any smoked-salmon sandwiches there, pal? All right?”

In the next scene, we see Rodney and Del coming down the stairs, the following has been cut from this scene after the line “Nothing. I’m just going to help you make a good impression.”

Del: “That’s all.”

Rodney: “I do not want to make a bloody impression!”

Dell: “You will make an impression tonight and you can cut that language out for a start””

….

Dell: “Cor! Look at the lungs on that!  All right come on then!”

….

Cuts are also made in the conversation between Dell and Henry.

Del: “Have you seen that cartoon of his? Laugh” My old ribs ached for days. Of course, he did the old Mona Lisa as well you know?”

Henry: “Ah really?”

Del: “She’s the one with… you know, she’s got the energetic smile. You know you can’t tell whether she’s about to grin or whether she’s sucking a sweet. That one.”

….

After Dell says he has seen worse, the following is cut:

Henry: “It’s by Camille Pissarro, a 19th-century impressionist.”

Del: “Ah what like Yarwood?”

Henry: “Yeah, just like Mike Yarwood.”

Del: “What, and he did a bit of painting an’ all?”

Henry: “yes.”

Del: “Marvellous isn’t it. You learn something new every day, don’t you?”

Henry: “Do you? Good evening, Philip…”

Dell: “I tell you….”

….

Parts of uncle Albert’s conversation with the kitchen worker (Mrs Miles) have also been cut. The following lines have been removed:

Uncle Albert: “I’ve been ’round the world more times than a satellite.

Kitchen worker: “I expect it brings back too many memories?”

Uncle Albert: “Yeah, your right.”

….

Kitchen worker: “Tell Mr. Patterson. He might be able to discreetly suggest that the gentleman moderates his drinking.”

Uncle Albert: “Anyway, as I was saying, I never talk about it.”

Waiter: “Never talk about what?”

Uncle Albert: “About my days in the navy, all the battles and everything. But on this particular day in the south china sea the old captain came to us and said…”

Mr Patterson: “Are we nearly ready to serve, Mrs Miles?”

Kitchen worker: “Ready when you are, Mr Patterson.”

Mr Patterson: “Good, I want to get Leonardo Da Vinci’s best friend sat down before he falls down. He’s some relation of yours, Isn’t he?”

Uncle Albert: “Who, Leonardo Da Vinci?”

Mr Patterson: “No, no, no. The gentleman outside who thinks the stuffed olives are pickled grapes?”

Uncle Albert: “Yeah, yeah, sort of.”

Mr Patterson: “Is he an ex-navy man as well, Albert?”

Uncle Albert: “Him, You must be joking. He thinks a clippers something you do your hair with! No, I’m the only one in our family who ever went to sea. I tell a lie. My grandmother’s brother was safety officer on the Titanic. Yeah, but I never talk about it.”

The beginning of the dinner scene has been moved to after the scene where Del and Rodney argue over Del drinking too much. The following has been cut off the end of the clip:

Henry: “It’s just a phase, if you know what I’m saying.”

Man is background: “Yeah, Right. (In a different conversation.)”

The clip of the waiter putting his foot in the peas has been removed.

After Del and Rodney argue about Del enjoying himself, the following has been cut:

Del: “Hold her hand.”

Rodney: “What.”

Del: “Hold her hand.”

Rodney: “Shut up.”

….

When Del is telling the woman sitting next to him about Rodney and Vicky getting engaged. The following is cut before the line “Keep it under your tiara!”:

Del: “That’s the ugly one over there in the white.”

….

Dell moving his finger around the edge of his glass, causing everyone to look up has also been removed along with the following lines:

Del: “That’s how you can tell they’re pukka crystal.”

Henry: “Really.”

Del: “Yeah.”

Henry:”Thank-you.”

Del: “Pleasure.”

Guest: “I don’t want you worry you, Henry old man but he actually threw his banana skin in your Ch’ein Lung jardinière.”

Henry: “Good grief.”

Later in the scene, when Dell is tapping his glass has been removed, with the following lines lost:

Del: “Hear that tone, yeah, great aint it. Makes you proud to be British.”

….

Del: “Don’t worry, We’ll pop out later, won’t we?”

Within the conversation about the football box, the following has been cut:

Man: “No, I meant a private box in the new stand!”

Rodney: “No, I’m usually in the shed.”

Man: “Yes, I’ve often seen the chaps in the shed. Looks great fun! I’m a great Dixon fan.”

Dell: “Oh yeah, Which Dixon’s that?”

Man: “Well, Dixon of Chelsea!”

Del: “Him? I’d rather play Dixon of Dock Green! He can’t dribble like Jimmy Greaves could!”

Man: “Well maybe not, but he’s still a fine player. I mean, he’s good in the air!”

Del: “So was Biggles!”

….

The following is cut when Del, Rodney and Henry are talking about Rodney’s sport history:

Henry: “That’s jolly interesting. Rodney, which area of athletics?”

Rodney: “Uh… Well it was…”

Del: “It was all sorts. All sorts, weren’t it, Rodney? It was running and jumping over things and chucking things about. Oh, yeah, all sorts.”

….

Rodney: “Well, It wasn’t actually a university.”

From the scene when Dell explains about Rodney’s drug incident, only two lines remain, the rest has been cut resulting in the following lines being lost:

Del: “No Rodney, no Its important that these good people know the whole truth. … What he was found in possession of, All right, no, they weren’t. They belonged to this Chinese tart. The story, you see that he went down to her room, right to buy her a box of chalks and she said, come in Rodney, have a puff on this. And before you know what happened the old SGB, they burst in and he was caught, band to the rights with a reefer, you know, alla dente! I mean, he was two or three miles away in a black Maria before he even said, like, you know, man or anything like that. Oh yeah. Now, I just wanted you all to know, you know, about his drugs conviction just in case, you know it was ever brought up by the gutter press. You know, I just want you to know that he was done up like a kipper. Weren’t you, eh? All right, Good boy. Anyway, listen, let’s liven the proceedings up a bit, shall we, eh?”

“Eh? A little recitation entitled: “Don’t worry, mother, your son will soon be back. He’s sailing ’round the world in a Grimsby fishing smack! Now, listen, I’ll tell you now… No, that’s the one I’ll tell you… You’ll like this one. Listen. Listen. Ahem. Ready? The boy stood on the burning deck, the water shone like glass. A burning ember flew down his neck and burnt him on the ankle! You thought I was going to say arse, didn’t you?. That’s the joke, you see? Listen, I’ve got another one. Listen, you’ll like this one. Did you hear about the Irish bloke on a skiing holiday? There’s this Irish bloke, right, and he won a… Won a holiday in a contest of the some sort or another. To go skiing, right? You’ll love this! This is a killer!”

Henry: “TROTTER! I want a word with you outside now!”

Del: “Yeah. All right. All right, Henry, Right, right. I’ll see you later. Now I’ll clinch the deal.

When Vicky asks Rodney if he is still staying overnight, a small line is cut:

Rodney: “no, I’d Best get off home, eh?”

Vicky: “Fine, It was….”

When Rodney and Dell return home, the last cut of the episode occurs:

Rodney: “Why don’t you just stay out of my life?”

The rest of the episode remains in its original form.

THE END