Friends in the right places part 7

Del, Raquel and Rodney are behind the bar. Also present are Alan, Trigger, Denzil, Cassandra, Mike and Sid.

Del:         Alright everyone, pleased you could all make it at this historic occasion.

Door knocks.

Del:         Ah, there he is bang on queue, as predicted, quarter of an hour early.

Del walks over to the front door, opens it, as anticipated, it’s Slater.

Del:         Yes, I thought it’d be you, come in.

Slater is ushered in, he’s smiling until he sees everyone assembled.

Del:         Here he is look everyone. Say hello to Slater the Slag.

Slater makes to say something but checks himself.

Slater:     What’s going on?

Rodney: Well we were a bit worried about the pub Slater. Say something happened to it?

Cas:        We’re thinking of some insurance.

Del:         yeah, say it burned down!

Alan:      You could try Frindal Insurance. I’ve heard they’re good.

Mike:      Or what about Commonwealth Insurers?

Trigger:  How about G.G.S.U?

Sid:         No, that’s no good Trig, they’re expert insurers for Life Insurance.

Del:         No, good thinking though Trig, I was thinking of Life insurance as well.

Raquel:   What about car insurance?

Denzil:    Just Car insurance. I’ve heard good reports about them.

Mike:      Then there’s Prestige!

Slater:     You can stop your pantomime now. I don’t need a list of all the companies I own, thank you very much.

Del:         All Insurance companies except this one. What is this place to you anyway? A hobby?

Rodney: No, just somewhere he can lord it over those he knows should he feel like it.

Mike:      Or frame them!

Slater;     You’ve all made a big mistake.

Alan:      No, they haven’t Mr Slater, I think you’ll find that you have.

Slater:     I don’t know what you mean.

Del:         Oh, I think you do. Have you heard of the Ponzi scheme.

Slater trys to look ignorant of the scheme.

Del:         You’re a terrible actor Roy, have you ever considered a part in Eastenders?

Raquel:   And he’s depressing enough.

Del:         I did a bit of research myself yesterday Slater. I couldn’t be bothered with the stock-taking.

Slater says nothing.

Del:         Did a few google searches. Found email contact address for all your companies. I even saved them to my address book, didn’t I Rodney.

Rodney: That’s right Del. And all the Home Pages are added to your favourites aren’t they.

Del:         That’s right Rodney. Plus….What was the other one I did?

Rodney: Two.

Del:         Oh yes, that’s right it was two, cheers bruv. The Insurance Watchdogs and The Insurance Ombudsman.

Slater walks to the bar, smiles nervously and looks at Del.

Slater:     You did a deal last time Del. I’m assuming you’re looking for one this time.

Del:         Hand over the brewery to us and you can walk out of here.

Slater:     Fifty one percent of the brewery are you mad!

Del:         You’ll make out that our consortium has bought you out. Do whatever you have to do, pull whatever strings need pulling but you come back here this time next week. No later! And I want it all in writing on the table just there.

Del walks over to Slater threateningly.

Del:         Otherwise I’ll be logging on!

Slater:     And the other companies?

Del:         You can do what you like with them. I don’t care.

Slater:     It’s a deal.

Slater looks around.

Slater:     I’ll need a list of all your names.

Raquel:   Well you can start with mine. It’s Raquel. R-A-Q-U-E-L.

Del pulls out a sheet of paper. Gives it to Slater

Del:         Here’s a list of names and addresses. Documentation and confirmation to arrive within the week. Do close the door on your way out.

Slater exits and closes the door this time. Once he’s gone, all look to each other and cheer. The cheer is a

combination of excitement and relief. Rodney has his fist clinched like he’s just scored a goal, he hugs Cassandra, Del hugs Raquel. Sid and Mike slap Alan on the back. Denzil looks a little stunned but smiles at Trigger. Trigger looks blank.

Del:         Well done everybody! I was going to make an extra announcement but you’ve all heard enough of my voice.

Raquel:   Here, here!

Del:         (Smiles) Yes, thank you Raquel! No, I thought I’d leave it to our Earthwhile host. (Indicates Mike)

Rodney: Erstwhile!

Del:         (Ignores Rodney) Mike Fisher, everyone.

Mike:      Thanks Del. Ladies and Gentlemen, friends, fellow share-holders and partners. I know it’s early but….

Del:         Go on Mike.

Mike:      Everyone, the drinks are on the house!