Mr X
Mr X by Jimmy Connerly (One year on from Sleepless in Peckham)
Scene Eight – INT- SCENE CUTS BACK TO THE TROTTERS FLAT

Rodney: Hang on, I’ll have it open – the catch has stuck.
Rodney fiddles a bit more. The door starts to give.
Rodney: OK mate, there you go I’ve got it.
Rodney opens the door and looks up. His face shows utter shock.
Rodney: Bloody hell. What the fffffflaming heck are you doing here?
CUTS BACK TO THE NAGS HEAD
Del is shaking his head.
Mike: Listen to me Del, you’re in danger Del!
Del: Well why?
Mike: Because you knew him better than I did! In fact, it’s only through you I knew him at
all. And look what happened to me.
Del: (Now taking notice) So who is it then? Come on, stop pussy-footing around who is it? Tell me!
Mike: His names Slater. Roy Slater.
I think Jimmy Connerly has done a sterling job with this script. Quite possibly the best fans script I’ve read. Really good attempt.
I agree
Suggestion
You could have added more than one scene for each part of the story, eight scenes and eight parts, you could have just made it into a single episode, or expanded on the storyline.