Forging Ahead

FORGING AHEAD by Jimmy Connerly (based on an idea by Rico)

Scene One Early Afternoon - Int. Trotters Flat

There are many boxes already in the flat. Del enters carrying a few more. Grandad enters from the kitchen at the same time.

Grandad: You're back early Del. Is Rodney with ya?
Del: No, not yet Grandad, I left him down the market, see if he could do a bit more.
Grandad: What, selling them puppets?
Del: Yeah.
Grandad: Any good Del?
Del: No, not really Grandad. If the truth be told, sales were about as impressive as a Sinclair C5 at Brands Hatch...... with the handbrake on!
Grandad: (Dismissive) I told you they'd never sell! Waste of money.
Del: You hypocynical old duffer, it was you as recommended 'em!
Grandad: Yeah, but that's when I though they sounded good.
Del: What do you mean, "when they sounded good."?

Front door slams loudly.

Grandad: That'll be Rodney now!
Del: Hmmm, and it don't sound like he's sold too many does it.
Grandad: No!
Del: Lazy git!

Rodney enters looking fed up.

Del: Any joy Rodders?
Rodney: (Fuming) What do you think? Bloody hell Del, these are rubbish!
Del: Rubbish? (Looks hurt and offended) Rubbish? I don't believe the pair of you! It was you two as persuaded me to get them. Especially you Rodders.
Rodney: Yeah, but that's when I thought they sounded good.

Grandad smiles a smug 'I told you so' to Del.

Del: I don't know what's wrong with you two, I really don't.
Rodney: (Looks at Grandad) 'Genuine silver-screen memorabilia' he said.
Del: Yes, that's right, it is.
Grandad: (Nodding to Rodney) 'Tribute to multi-Oscar winner' he said.
Del: And it is! What is it with you two? (Looks to each in turn) Is this some sort of conspicuity against me or something?
Rodney: Del, it's a cheap plastic glove puppet.
Del: Not cheap Rodney no, it's a quality tribute; a tribute to the king of world peace.
Rodney: Eh?
Del: (Glorifying - painting a picture) The Royal Raj! A wonderful approval and tribute to his holiness, the messiah of India, immortalised with this commemorative effigy!
Rodney: And what are you calling this 'messiah in plastic' again Del?

Del picks one up, it's an Indian doll but poor quality. Legs bent deliberately to be in lotus position and glasses 'drawn on' in permanent marker.

Del: (Looks promisingly, for effect) It's the right dead handy, handy Gandhi!

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