Mr X
Mr X by Jimmy Connerly (One year on from Sleepless in Peckham)
Scene Four – INT – BACK AT THE BAR, PRESENTLY

Raquel: You’ll find me a match for him if you don’t keep our son out of here.
Del: He lives here with us!
Raquel: In the bar I mean, as well you know. He was in here again just now asking for beer.
Del: Oh, it’s only a couple of pints.
Raquel: He’s fifteen!
Del: I was drinking when I was fifteen, didn’t do me any harm.
Raquel: Do you think?
Del gives Raquel a hurt look.
Raquel: Del, you’re the licensee! At best you’d be fined. You could lose your license and even sent to prison!
Del: I’ll say hello to Mike then, eh!
Raquel: Well you wouldn’t be seeing me visiting day. And anyway he’s been released remember?
Del: I know, Sid said. Which is about all he has said lately. Miserable git.
Raquel: You can’t expect him to be your biggest fan.
Del: No, but he’s been a very hostile lately, He’s about as warm as an Eskimo’s freezer.
Raquel: Are you surprised? You took his job away.
Del: Must we discuss this again?
Raquel: No. I was just remarking.
Del: What needs doing anyway?
Raquel: Bottling up’s done, you could check the till floats.
Del: (laughs) What shall I do, chuck it in the Thames?
Raquel: (no response) Just check the Till floats Del.
Del: Oh all right then.
Del: I’ll say hello to Mike then, eh!
Raquel: Well you wouldn’t be seeing me visiting day. And anyway he’s been released remember?
Del: I know, Sid said. Which is about all he has said lately. Miserable git.
Raquel: You can’t expect him to be your biggest fan.
Del: No, but he’s been a very hostile lately, He’s about as warm as an Eskimo’s freezer.
Raquel: Are you surprised? You took his job away.
Del: Must we discuss this again?
Raquel: No. I was just remarking.
Del: What needs doing anyway?
Raquel: Bottling up’s done, you could check the till floats.
Del: (laughs) What shall I do, chuck it in the Thames?
Raquel: (no response) Just check the Till floats Del.
Del: Oh all right then.
As they are talking, someone has entered the bar.
Voice: Is anyone serving in here then?
Del and Raquel look up in surprise.
Del: Bloody Hell, hello Mike!
Mike: Hello Trotter.
Mike: Hello Trotter.